BREAKING NEWS – Trash Hauler Discovers World’s Largest Heavy Metal Album Collection


Album Collection Estimated At Over 300,000 Pieces

Green Pastures Connecticut – The world’s largest Heavy Metal (vinyl) album collection was discovered by an independent trash hauler on March 31st, at 7:30 am, EST, on Brownestone Hill Road, in rural Green Pastures, Connecticut. Constantine H. McLeland founded his small trash hauling business (Bye, Bye, Bad Garbage, Ltd.) back in 1999 and has struggled with fluctuating economies, large corporate competition and nightmarish Northern Connecticut Winter storms, only his entrepreneurial spirit has always kept him moving forward.

Recently facing the prospect of closing his trash hauling business due to rising taxes and gasoline prices, Constantine’s future is looking much more brighter now, due to his discovery of what’s being called “the greatest”, “the largest” and “most valuable” of any Heavy Metal record collection known. This collection has quickly drawn the attention of famed record experts and collectors worldwide, based on its size, quality and titles that’s involved.

The “unofficial” count has this enormous collection estimated at over 300,000 albums, with an early “conservative” estimated value at over three million dollars (in U.S. funds). Has Constantine found his pot of gold? He replies: “I would  hopefully think so, it’s like winning the lottery and I feel like my life has been changed forever.” Asked if he listens to Heavy Metal, Constantine was quick to say: “I’m from the old school pack. Blue Cheer, Diamond Head, Pentagram, Judas Priest and Slayer are my bands, so, hell yes I listen to Heavy Metal.”

When asked to recount the moments leading up to his once-in-a-lifetime find, Constantine paused and requested we keep the name of his customer confidential. Constantine stated: “I received a call from a loyal customer of nearly ten years. He explained he wanted his six-car garage and adjoining guest house cleaned out in just three days. Of course I took the request and sent all four of my employees over to the customers property, each with a company truck. Then, I received a call from my employee (general manager) Henry. That’s when I got really involved.”

“Henry was ecstatic on the cell, he kept saying you won’t believe what we’re hauling away. When I arrived, I saw before me, boxes and industrial shelves filled with record albums. As far as we know and see, they are all Heavy Metal too. The entire guest house and garage are temperature controlled, with nothing but these albums as the contents! This customer is a perfectionist, this collection was stored professionally and neat as a pin. This collection goes back to the first Black Sabbath album and up to the early nineties. That first Black Sabbath album is even autographed by the band too, with a certificate of authenticity. I guess there are thousands of rare demo vinyl, picture discs, Japanese import vinyl and prototype vinyl, you know, one of a kind stuff.”

Apparently, Constantine did remind his customer that he was being paid to haul away a very valuable collection of albums. This customer was also reminded that once this collection was removed from his property, it would then be property of Bye, Bye, Bad Garbage Ltd., still, the customer agreed to these terms. Constantine explained: “This customer is a great guy, a genuine gentleman. He told me his Heavy Metal days were over and he now wanted to concentrate on amassing a large collection of ABBA and Disco albums instead. What a jackass. Damn poser.”

Asked what he will do next with his newfound and world’s largest collection of Heavy Metal albums: “I imagine I will keep most of it for now, I have the necessary storage on my property for it. I’ll sell some albums to keep payroll. I am a huge fan of Metal Odyssey and Stone is one loyal Metalhead… a really cool son-of-a-bitch, you know? So I’ll be giving him a good portion of this collection for free to enjoy. It’s my way of saying thanks to Stone and giving back to him, for having such a kick-ass Heavy Metal blog.”

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

Stone.

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7 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS – Trash Hauler Discovers World’s Largest Heavy Metal Album Collection”

  1. rbtaleman Says:

    Ya got me ya S.O.B.! well done sir…well done.

  2. Some guys have all the metal luck, good on hiim.

  3. atothewr Says:

    It’s always the morons who wind up with the good stuff.

    Giving up on metal to go with Disco. Come on!

    I am going to have to Re-Blog this one.

    Thanks for the great post.

  4. atothewr Says:

    Reblogged this on atothewr.com.

  5. HA HA I fell for it!!!! The joke is on me, great job, sir!

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