10 Heavy Metal happenings that will never happen.
Every once in awhile, well, I tend to be slightly comedic. What better way to get away from the white useless noise of MSNBC than to have some comic relief that incorporates Heavy Metal? Here are some Heavy Metal happenings that will never, ever, happen in a million Metal years:
#1. A live Cannibal Corpse concert held in Salt Lake City, Utah, will be aired on PBS this fall.
#2. The Grammy Awards of 2010, will recognize Motorhead with a lifetime achievement award.
#3. The American Music Awards will have Iced Earth perform live, on their stage, for their 2010 airing.
#4. Al Gore will finally admit to Dee Snider that Heavy Metal will not corrupt our youth.
#5. Oprah Winfrey will have King Diamond on her show, delving into the mystique of horror lyrics in Metal.
#6. Dan Rather will travel with Motley Crue this Summer, documenting and narrating for film – “Crue Fest 2009”.
#7. Keith Olberman of MSNBC fame will become the new host for MTV’s “Headbangers Ball” beginning this fall.
#8. Chris Matthews of MSNBC fame will finally accept the role to play “Aunt Bea” in the new television remake of “The Andy Griffith Show.” David Lee Roth will accept the opportunity to redo the famous show opening whistling song.
#9. North American concert promoters will announce that Power Metal festivals will be abundant and year long events in all 50 states!
#10. Dr. Phil will have Arch Enemy perform on his show. Dr. Phil will then admit to his tongue tied audience that Death Metal is “good, clean, mental therapy.”
Metal Odyssey > Heavy Metal Music Blog 
April 9, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Good stuff.