Auto dealer waiting room experience is bizarre!


metalodyssey7I set off today, on my little journey to have my car get it’s regular – 3,000 mile oil change. Nothing about arriving to the auto dealer was out of the ordinary, I checked the car in, gave the necessary information to the gentleman behind the service desk, then proceeded to the… customer waiting room. Once inside the crowded waiting room, the social nightmare had begun. I will describe to you, what I observed and heard, while I tried my hardest to blend into the atmosphere, of this god forbidden, auto dealer waiting room. 

I first noticed, as always, the majority of the customers waiting were elderly. That is fine, retired people have the morning hours to use for this purpose, I try my best to squeeze auto repair/oil change trips during weekday mornings, rather than tie up a quality Saturday morning. I did not make eye contact with anyone in this waiting room, that is rule #1. An older woman, sitting only about five feet from me, decided she wanted to cough up enough phlegm to fill a one gallon container. Her “coughing attack” became quite the scene. I do not know what was more alarming, the decibel level of her coughing or the disgusting sound of her throat clearing. This spectacle went on for about five minutes. She did everything she could to spread her infectious, bacterial microbes across the entire room. With the swine flu scare currently happening, sitting this close to any stranger this ill makes my mind wander. If I knew I needed to cough out  of control and cough up my insides, well, I would have gone to the rest room (which are very clean at this establishment, well marked too).

Another older woman decided, well, she wanted to “control the television controller” – she would not settle on any cable channel whatsoever! She acted like a toddler, given the remote for the first time in her life! (This auto establishment does have a very nice HD flat screen on the waiting room wall, with countless cable channels) I did my very best to ignore this second “incident” – I buried my eyes and thoughts into the issue of “Discover” magazine that I brought with me for support. The third incident was having to sit directly across from a middle aged woman who felt it is necessary to bring along with her – a full days worth of snacks. This gal packed away a bag of chips, granola bar and full bottle of some type of liquid in under fifteen minutes. Just as a side bar, the man who accompanied her, well, he decided it was appropriate to belch a few times to make his presence known and heard. At the point where the remote control happy woman decided to settle on far reaching news on the dreaded “swine flu outbreak” – I made my escape outside the building.

Upon returning into the auto dealer waiting room, I was well into my third hour waiting for my car. (I was informed an oil change was not the only procedure my car would be going through this particular day, surprise!) Anyhow, sitting alone now, I had the HD flat screen all to myself! Plus, someone left the “Food Network” on, cool. It was just me and one big, empty, phlegm free waiting room. So I thought. Another customer decided to venture inside and join me. At this point, giving a ballpark age for the woman who came into the waiting room is non essential. She entered the room, looked at me, looked at the food show on the HD flat screen, looked back at me and said, “do you like to cook”? My reply was – “uh, uh, yeah, sure,” to which she responded back – “good, because my first two husbands liked to cook too.” At this point I new I was in a bind. This woman then asked me if I liked to clean. Yup. She said – “my second husband kept everything neat.” I now felt like I was on the dating game from hell. I was rescued when an employee of the dealership entered the waiting room, informing this woman her courtesy ride to work was waiting. (phew). That was the end of this social twilight zone I stumbled into today.

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