Archive for the everyday experiences Category

METAL ODYSSEY CELEBRATES 1ST METAL ANNIVERSARY!

Posted in 1970's heavy metal music, 1980's heavy metal bands, 1980's heavy metal music, 1990's heavy metal bands, 1990's heavy metal music, alternative metal music, anniversary, classic rock, classic rock music, collecting metal music, everyday experiences, everyday people, extreme metal music, gothic metal music, hard rock music, Heavy Metal, heavy metal bands, heavy metal birthdays, heavy metal music, heavy metal news, horror punk, living, metal music, metal odyssey, Music, people, power metal music, Punk rock, rock and roll, rock music, southern rock music, thrash metal music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

On March 1st, 2009, I embarked on a Rock and Roll journey… to blog my Metal heart out about the music, bands, musicians, albums and songs I love the most. This Rock and Roll journey was named – MetalOdyssey. Both past and present bands, my concert experiences, what I buy for music, album reviews, Heavy Metal hunting finds and my best Metal buddy Scott Coverdale have all been covered. Scott researches Metal like a Metalaholic. Once in awhile, I have vented about what ticks me off: The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame, reality show know-it-all dads, Rolling Stone Magazine, The Grammys and the dreadful PMRC. I even posted about my new cat Toby that my family adopted too. My unreal great wife, well, she is responsible for prodding and suggesting that I do this Metal Odyssey blog gig. I look back now and understand why she wanted me to do this. Without her computer, graphics and software expertise, I never would have gotten this blog off the Metal ground. I Thank her with all the love and everything I’ve got for coaxing me into such a Metal thrill ride! It has been a ton of Metal fun.

Did I think I would cover, (most of the time, like, 90% of the time), Metal Music? Kinda did. You see, I also have a love affair with Hard Rock, Progressive Rock, Southern Rock, Alternative Rock, Rock and… at times, movie soundtracks. So, my Rock and Roll infatuation covers quite a bit of ground… it’s been that way my entire Metal life. Some may want to call me a Rock Music junkie… so Metal be it! I’m not bashful to express my allegiance to ELO, The Moody Blues, Dire Straits, The Doors, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Boz Scaggs. Nor will I ever fib and say the Rocky movie soundtrack doesn’t still pump me up and psyche me out of my Metal mind! Bill Conti is a musical genius, John Carpenter is too.

What does the future hold for Metal Odyssey? MORE METAL! With that said, I will warn all of my loyal visitors and new visitors right now… don’t ever be bewildered if you find me blabbing and praising about straight forward Rock and Roll either. I love the roots of Heavy Metal, always have I been amazed at how this incredible form of music came to being. Heavy Metal history is sacred to Metal Odyssey.

Punk Rock I like to blab about too from time to time. Misfits, Ramones, Osaka PopstarRancid and The Casualties are my top favorites, they all shall get their justified and respected due on Metal Odyssey again.

In the coming months, hopefully years, I will continue on with this Rock and Roll journey called Metal Odyssey just as I have been doing. I would like to continue to inform, entertain and inspire friendly debate through my writings and reviews. I also get the biggest kick out of consistently finding Metal albums and CD’s dirt cheap at thrift stores, antique stores/malls and flea markets… lending my anecdotes and experiences of such finds to the world makes me feel happy. Any and all personal Metal experiences, (no matter how large or small), that I may encounter in the future will no doubt, be found right here on Metal Odyssey!

I also want to thank the new Metal buddies I have encountered through Metal Odyssey. These guys are fun to correspond with and make me more Metal wiser with each new post they create on their respective blogs, due in part to their personal perspective and knowledge of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. Here is a roll call of these great fellow Metalheads who share the same passion as I do for Heavy Metal and Hard Rock music… check them out in the list below, if you already haven’t, they are a Metal kick!

Hard Rock Hideout – I write reviews and do interviews for this unreal cool site… the dudes and dudettes over there are super nice Metal buddies too. Hard Rock Hideout is super loaded with up to the minute news, reviews, interviews, Hard Rock Hideout Radio, videos and… you get the Metal point!

The Metal Files – This Metal buddy was the first to put Metal Odyssey on a blog roll! An industry insider and musician who knows more than a thing or two about what is really going on in Metal. Plus, I really take stock in his Metal opinions, even if he doesn’t like Steelheart.

Heavy Metal Addiction – A Metal buddy who invited me into a group of fellow bloggers to post the “Best Of” lists for 2009. A Metal gracious move I truly appreciate. Great reviews and insight aplenty to be had over there from this Heavy Metal blogging veteran. From his CD Scavenger Hunt to his concert reviews… good Metal stuff.

Metal Excess – This Heavy Metal site is loaded with reviews and honest insight too. A KISS fan exists at Metal Excess, which makes it all the more a Metal pleasure to go there constantly.

Demolish Fanzine – 1980’s Heavy Metal Revival – This Metalhead buddy loves 1980’s Metal, what’s not to love about it? This blog is enriched with the knowledge of a 1980’s fanzine veteran who has loads of Metal interviews and info to share… and I’m reading it.

Heavy Metal Time Machine – An old school Heavy Metal blogger who calls it the way he see it! That’s the way it should be for Metal sakes. Uniquely insightful and fun, (Clash of the Album Covers & Battle of the Bands), the reviews, opinions and anecdotes over there always keeps me thinking.

* I also want to thank WordPress.com for having a kick butt and easy to navigate blog site!

I do want to THANK EACH AND EVERY VISITOR to Metal Odyssey over this past first year! Regardless if your comments were friendly or not, heck, at least you commented! Without visitors to Metal Odyssey, there is no fun in blabbing about the music that gets us all through each day.

BE TRUE TO THE MUSIC YOU LOVE AND THE MUSIC WILL BE TRUE TO YOU!

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND THE FREEDOM TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC WE CHOOSE!


Thank you all again,

Stone.

ANGEL – “THE WINTER SONG” IS MY BLIZZARD OF 2010 THEME SONG!

Posted in 1970's classic rock bands, 1970's classic rock songs, 1970's classic rock music, 1970's hard rock, 1970's heavy metal, 1970's heavy metal albums, 1970's heavy metal bands, 1970's heavy metal music, 1970's Rock, 1970's rock bands, 1970's rock music, 1980's hard rock bands, 1980's heavy metal music, classic rock 1978, classic rock albums, classic rock bands, classic rock music, classic rock songs, everyday experiences, everyday people, feel good stories, hard rock bands, hard rock music, hard rock songs, heavy metal albums, heavy metal bands, heavy metal history, heavy metal music, metal odyssey, Music, old school heavy metal bands, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 11, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

It is Thursday, February 11, 2010. The cleanup begins. The cleanup after the Blizzard of 2010 that is. This unreal blizzard attacked the East Coast yesterday, with the great state of Pennsylvania directly in it’s angry path. I’ve seen some major winter storms in my life, this one was a monster in it’s own right. Upwards of nearly two feet of snow blanketed Pennsylvania after 24 hours of snow falling from the sky. Ah, the cleanup that will take place up and down the Eastern Seaboard today… patience shall be a virtue for us all.

As I listened to various music yesterday, I was thinking all along about picking out the perfect blizzard song, a winter song… alas, I was reminded of Angel – The Winter Song. This 1978 song sums it up best… about the spirit of Winter and looking upon this cold, stormy and sometimes isolated season in a different light. Once the holiday season comes to a close, the Winter season takes on it’s own ominous and elongated meaning unlike any other time of year. Still, Winter is here, the blizzards will come and life goes on. Winter, I have learned, is what you make of it. As long as I’m alive to experience this season despite the often times chaotic weather events it brings, I should just be happy that it’s a brand new day.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY UNMISTAKABLY LOYAL AND LOVING WIFE TODAY! 15 YEARS! IT’S THE OFFICIAL DAY! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO AND FOR WORKING SO HARD HONEY! THIS SONG IS FOR YOU TOO!

LONG LIVE ANGEL AND MY MARRIAGE!

If you feel like it, you can check out the post I wrote about Angel and their 1978 Angel album – White Hot, by clicking the header below. I wrote this post back on April 4, 2009.

Angel – Heavy Metal roots from 1978

WHERE I ATE THE WORLDS GREATEST CHEESE OMELETTE – LET ME SHOW AND TELL YOU!

Posted in breakfast food, dining out, everyday experiences, everyday people, everyday social experiences, family, feel good stories, food, funny stories, life, life stories, living, people, personal stories, restaurant experiences, restaurants, road trip stories, social encounters, travel america, travel stories, vacation stories with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

When I wake up each morning, the future is all a mystery. Sure, I know my daily routine and can predict the happenings that are all a part of my usual schedule. However… I never could have predicted that I would eat the greatest cheese omelette of my entire life today! This same cheese omelette I have now looked back upon as The Worlds Greatest Cheese Omelette. Yes, I have eaten and enjoyed many a cheese omelette, at many fine restaurants and diners during my life. Yes, many family members have made a cheese omelette for me over the years. I have consumed every style, shape and even store brand type of cheese omelette, from the half cooked to eye popping in taste. Still… this cheese omelette I ate today was something special. An omelette experience to behold… really.

How my cheese omelette experience came to pass today: My wife had a vacation day from work, therefore we embarked on our journey to find a diner/restaurant that was not filled to capacity with hungry breakfast zombies. Fate was in the works from the get-go… our first stab at finding a parking spot at the first diner, Hamilton Family Restaurant or Ham Fam as we locals call it, had no parking space available. Lately, Ham Fam has been very difficult to get into… maybe due to President Obama dining there for lunch, back in early December of 2009, has something to do with it’s excessive overflow of popularity? Nevertheless, Ham Fam, (located in the fantastic city of Allentown, Pa.), is as excellent a diner as one could ever eat at. Upon our realizing Ham Fam was out of the breakfast equation, we set forth for another fine, morning dining destination – The Willows Restaurant, located in East Texas, Pennsylvania.

Admittedly and not to sound too cheesy… this omelette I savored at The Willows Restaurant today, well, it ROCKED.

Upon arriving at The Willows Restaurant, (which has ample parking), my wife and I noticed quickly, there was quite a morning breakfast crowd already there. Not to be shunned away a second time this morning for lack of parking, there was a space for the car… and not too far from the building itself! Walking towards this aged, yet well kept and inviting restaurant, we were already semi-psyched knowing the breakfast vibe was good. Once inside, we noticed the staff was super friendly and professional. Being seated in micro seconds put me into an instant tailspin too. Laughter, chatter and the sounds of a baby crying made this breakfast theater come alive… a feeling of home away from home swept over us both.

Both the waiter and waitress catered to my wife and I like we were the Presidential Couple. Our coffee cups were filled without request! Both breakfast meals were served upon us with the upmost expediency. (Pinch me please, service like this only happens in Mayberry R.F.D.). Now, for the cheese omelette experience… relax and enjoy what I’m about to tell you.

I gazed upon this cheese omelette as if it was gazing back at me. The cheese was melting out from it’s delicate edges and the visual softness of the egg was like nothing I have witnessed before. This omelette was thick, not thin or semi-thick… a real home cooked omelette… and I was not even at home! Alas, we did feel at home, here at The Willows Restaurant. With service and food this unreal great, again, this is not a Happy Days episode either, this is supposed to be 2010. I needed to save this precious omelette for last, the home fries and wheat toast beckoned me to devour them first. I eyed, even flirted with this omelette while my fork gently, ever so deftly, began to part it’s layers. Delicious and satisfying was this cheese omelette. The cheese really was melted to perfection, flowing within the cavernous egg omelette, making for a taste so remarkable, I can only call it The Worlds Greatest Cheese Omelette.

There are those moments in my life I cherish the most, moments shared with my wife, on a Friday morning where normally our schedules dictate us to feel like we are worlds apart. Instead, we were able to enjoy the simplicity and joy of just going out to breakfast together. As a bonus, I discovered the greatest omelette I have ever tasted.

Besides the exceptional service, food, cleanliness and prices at The Willows Restaurant, this is also an establishment where you can laugh and/or cry at… as the above sign reads, from the happiest of occasions to funeral dinners.

– Stone

WE’VE ADOPTED A CAT! HIS NAME IS TOBY.

Posted in 1980's hair metal albums, 1980's hair metal bands, 1980's heavy metal albums, 1980's hard rock bands, 1980's heavy metal music, 1980's heavy metal songs, 1980's rock bands, classic rock, classic rock music, cool album covers, everyday experiences, family, family pets, feel good stories, hair metal music, hard rock music, heavy metal album covers, heavy metal albums, heavy metal bands, heavy metal guitarists, heavy metal music, heavy metal vocalists, lists, metal odyssey, Music, old school hair metal bands, personal stories, real life experiences, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

On November 21, 2009, my family and I adopted a two year old cat named Toby. He is healthy as can be, we updated all of his required shots and he passed a physical too. Toby is a domestic house cat, a very curious and gentle animal. Yes, he does like to get cozy, especially at night when we are all trying to sleep. Just like the classic Slaughter song goes… Up All Night, Sleep All Day! Toby really enjoys our front reading room during the day, taking turns sleeping on each chair and love seat. There is not a window sill this cat does not like to perch on either. Toby gets box seats to watch the birds, squirrels, rabbits and chipmunks do their thing… in the outside world. Toby does not seem to mind that he cannot go outside though… too many times he hears dogs barking.

As a family, Toby has embraced us all and likewise. We look forward to many great years with him. Toby is only looking for some food, a box to poop in, water, a house to prowl around in and playtime with our daughters, (with some added attention from my wife and I). He really isn’t asking for too much. I posted recently that we were searching to adopt a cat, in this post a nifty list of cat/feline/tiger bands was created, from Rock to Metal. Well, since we finally have Toby, here is another list of such bands associated with this ever popular animal… the cat.

First however, may I introduce to you, Toby:

Here is a Hair Metal Band that I have always liked a lot – Faster Pussycat. Their debut album, released in 1987, is one to own. My favorite song from this initial Faster Pussycat release is Don’t Change That Song. Taime Downe has some unique vocals, plus this band knew how to make some hard rockin’ and good time songs.

Here is another Hair Metal Band that I never covered my ears to, I will listen to this band. I actually caught this band live back in the late ’80’s at a small club. White Lion. I can’t recall what other band or bands played with White Lion that night I saw them… that was a night when the good times made things rather fuzzyVito Bratta, (the original guitarist) for White Lion, is very, very, good at playing guitar, no doubt in my Metal mind.

O.k., so Survivor is NOT a Heavy Metal Band or even a bona fide Hard Rock Band. They are a Rock Band still. Their band name does not have a feline connection, their biggest selling single ever does, for that matter. Furthermore, they did psyche me out at age 16, with their huge hit single from 1982, Eye Of The Tiger. I am not bashful, about admitting the affect this song had on me, back in 1982. This was the theme song for the Rocky lll movie sequel as well. From what I have researched, this song alone, sold over two million copies in the U.S., count me as one of those two million who bought the 45 rpm back then. Uh, this one I wound up selling, giving away or (gulp), discarding. I really wish I kept this 45 rpm with the original sleeve intact.

Tigertailz – Hair Metal, Glam Metal… either or – you pick ’em. Their 1987 debut album Young And Crazy I still own… on (gulp), cassette. Metal be damned I’m going to keep it too… and listen to it whenever I feel like it. No, I’m NOT kidding either.

Well, that is all for now. My previous cat related bands/songs list was a little longer, I’m running out of ideas with this now. If anyone has a Rock/Hard Rock/Metal related example for this list, that comes to mind, feel free to comment it.

MOTORHEAD – “THE ONE TO SING THE BLUES” WAS MY 1991 RECORD CONVENTION FIND

Posted in 1970's heavy metal bands, 1980's heavy metal bands, 1990's heavy metal bands, 1990's heavy metal songs, 1990's heavy metal music, classic hard rock music, classic heavy metal, collecting heavy metal albums, collecting music, collecting rock music, essential heavy metal songs, everyday experiences, feel good stories, hard rock music, Heavy Metal, heavy metal 45 rpm records, heavy metal bands, heavy metal memorabilia, heavy metal music, heavy metal music 1991, heavy metal on vinyl, heavy metal record finds, heavy metal records, metal music, metal odyssey, Music, old school heavy metal, personal stories, rare heavy metal albums, rare vinyl record imports, record conventions, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music, shopping for rock music, vintage heavy metal bands, vintage heavy metal songs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

Back in the early Spring of 1991, my girlfriend, (now my wife), and I ventured down to the New Haven Coliseum in New Haven, Connecticut… to frolic through a record convention. Record conventions are the best. I am guilty of not going to enough of these glorious events in my lifetime. Regardless, this record convention was chock full of vinyl, CD’s and all things Rock memorabilia that I could ever wish for. Oh yeah, there was Heavy Metal aplenty at this record convention back then… tons of it. The only parameter I needed to follow at this show was to narrow down my search, (I was not loaded with cash back then and I’m still not). Motorhead was at the top of my search list, going to this record convention. There was quite the choice of Motorhead vinyl, cassettes and CD’s to buy there… I settled on the 7″ vinyl, (45 rpm), The One To Sing The Blues. Even though I can’t remember what I actually paid for this Motorhead record, compared to purchasing a 12″ album import at the time, it was a good deal. Seven dollars keeps coming back to me, as to the purchase price though.

We left that record convention that day with just a couple of purchases. The other purchase I will save for a future post, (it was a cool piece of vinyl as well). I still own this Motorhead 45 rpm, rediscovering it recently as it was hidden away in my collection. Am I psyched that I still have it after 19 years? You betcha. I would safely guess this Motorhead record is kinda rare. The backside cover to this record sleeve has the header – Motorhead On Tour, it lists the U.K. concert dates for February 1991. There are 14 concert dates listed. Also on this backside record sleeve cover, are the complete lyrics to The One To Sing The Blues. Sure, I look back and wish I gobbled up every Motorhead vinyl treasure there was at that record convention, nonetheless, I am content with what I do have. This little record has it’s rightful place in my record collection, it being a Motorhead collectible and finding it with my wife, (then girlfriend), makes for a great memento.

Here is additional info on this Motorhead 45 rpm, The One To Sing The Blues:

Side A: The One To Sing The Blues

Side B: Dead Man’s Hand

* This record being bought in the U.S., is an import… with a Made In The U.K. sticker on the front sleeve of my copy I own.

* The One To Sing The Blues later appears on the Motorhead 1991 album – 1916. The backside record sleeve states this song as: Taken from the forthcoming LP/MC/CD “1916”

* The record label(s) as designated on the backside of the record sleeve and record: WTG Records and Epic

Motorhead, as they appeared on The One To Sing The Blues and Dead Man’s Hand:

Lemmy Kilmister – bass and lead vocals

Wurzel – guitar

Phil Campbell – guitar

Philthy Animal Taylor – drums

MISFITS “LAND OF THE DEAD” – MY RARE, RED VINYL COPY ARRIVED IN THE MAIL!!

Posted in 1970's punk rock, 1980's punk rock bands, 1980's punk rock music, 1990's punk rock bands, 1990's punk rock music, collecting rock music, cool album covers, creepy album covers, current punk rock music, current punk rock songs, essential punk rock songs, everyday experiences, extreme music, feel good stories, halloween rock music songs, hard to find punk rock albums, horror punk, horror punk album covers, horror punk albums, horror punk rock bands, horror punk rock music, horror punk songs, metal odyssey, Music, new punk rock music, old school punk rock, Punk rock, punk rock album covers, punk rock albums, punk rock bands, punk rock music, punk rock music 2009, punk rock musicians, punk rock songs, rare punk rock albums, rare punk rock records, real life experiences, rock and roll, rock music, scary album covers, spooky album covers, vintage punk rock bands with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

Yesterday, November 23, 2009, was a very good day in the life of this Misfits fan, uh, fiend. You see, as I innocently walked to my mailbox, (which is on the front roadside), I stared up towards the front door to my house… what is that I see? It was a very large bubble mailer, flat and the size of a record album… extremely beautiful looking from afar. My heart began to race as I felt a tad of perspiration come upon my forehead, my legs took me as fast as they would go to this mysterious package. Holding my crap/junk mail in my left hand, I bent down to pick up this glorious bubble mailer with my right hand. The return address read: Cinder Block/FFP… from Rancho Cordova, California… what a wonderful return address indeed. You see, I pre-ordered Misfits Land Of The Dead, (the first pressing and red vinyl version), back on October 15, of this year and it is now in my hands! Yeeaaahhhh baaabbbbbyyyyy!!

The excitement that rippled throughout my body and mind, at this moment of knowing Land Of The Dead was in this bubble mailer I was holding, was a moment I will not forget for a very long time. There are only 1,000 copies of the red vinyl version! Hello, can we all say… rare? Being a Misfits fan/fiend for so long, the sheer exhilaration of finally nailing down one of their rare vinyl singles – is a Horror Punk dream come true for me. With over a month passing by since my initial order, I began to worry, that maybe I was not going to be one of the lucky ones to get a red vinyl copy of Land Of The Dead. Worry no more! Cinder Block is the distribution/mail order company that the Misfits web site uses for selling all things… Misfits. A huge Horror Punk kudos to Cinder Block for landing me a copy and making good on my order! Plus, a bonus Horror Punk kudos to Cinder Block for the protective packaging they used for shipping… my copy of Land Of The Dead is mint/spotless!

The backside of this 12 inch vinyl single has the complete lyrics for both songs: Land Of The Dead and Twilight Of The Dead. A brief write-up regarding the connection between George A. Romero, (the legendary film director for the Living Dead movie series) and Jerry Only, is also on the backside of this 12 inch single. I purchased both of these Misfits songs on itunes as well, needing digital copies is a must. It just feels damned great to order what is known to be a rarity and actually get it! I spent a total of $15.94 on this Misfits gem, (including shipping), this is not shabby when you consider what this same red vinyl version is going for on ebay currently. My best Metal buddy Scott, well, he informed me this red vinyl version is selling in the $60.00 to $75.00 range! (I wasn’t tracking this info myself, due to my waiting nervously for my own copy to arrive in the mail). Let me say this, it was worth every cent to get this Misfits single on vinyl. I am a psyched out dude today and it feels great.

Misfits as they appear on Land Of The Dead:

Jerry Only – bass & vocals

Dez Cadena – rhythm & lead guitars

Robo AKA Julio Roberto Valverde Valencia – drums

The album artwork by Arthur Suydam gets my vote for 2009 Album Cover of the Year, spanning all the Rock Music genres. As a fellow artist, it is hard for me not to stare at this cover with art appreciation.

The Tampon Files: Three Short Stories About… Tampons

Posted in common complaints, embarrassing situations, everyday experiences, everyday people, everyday social experiences, family, funny stories, grocery store experiences, humor, humorous experiences, life, life stories, living, people, personal stories, points to ponder, real life experiences, social encounters, true personal stories with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

The Tampon Pimp

I am a dude. I am a Metalhead dude that loves his wife deeply. I will do anything for her. When feminine protection supplies are needed, um, tampons, I gladly go by myself to the grocery store to buy such products for my wife. I am over that crap of being embarrassed about buying this stuff – just because I am a man, uh, dude, doesn’t mean I have to ignore this fact of life. Heck, I used to load those cigar shaped ones into a wall canister at a company I once worked for… being a maintenance man is sometimes all encompassing. I used to get hollered at like crazy by women of all ages that worked in this company… there never was enough of those damned cigar tampons in the women’s rest room canister. Trust me, a group of these women went out of their way to bellow out loud that these supplies were out, they tried to disgrace and humiliate me… only they were the disgrace, based on their behavior, fowl language and actions.

I couldn’t keep up with the demand. How was this happening? I couldn’t believe how many of those things were being used, based on the number of women that were working at this company. Could each woman working in this building be having their period at the exact time? Impossible to think. Eventually, I did figure it out. Since the cigar tampons were free, yes free, well, the daily stock wound up being taken home in large quantities. Basically, the vast majority of the cigar tampons were stolen each day. Needless to say, I was the tampon pimp.

The Five Dollar Tampon Coupon

One day, this very week, I ventured into my neighborhood grocery store to pick up some necessities. Oh yes, one of those necessities was a box of cigar shaped tampons. Only this particular grocery trip was special… I had “earned” a five dollar coupon towards a name brand tampon, an “elite” brand too. I “earned” this fabulous coupon by being a loyal customer of this fine grocery store, you betcha. So, upon knowing obtaining this product was on “the list”, I was very excited to redeem this coupon towards an over priced box of “elite” cigar shaped tampons. The “elite” brand is a whopping eight dollars plus change – for a box of thirty six! Getting this “elite” box of feminine product for around three dollars, was sweet victory to my inner soul.

I only had six items or so in my arms, therefore choosing the “express” checkout at the grocery store seemed like a power move to me. No other customer was in front of me… easy pickings at the “express” checkout lane. Or so I thought. The cashier at this “express” checkout I am very familiar with, she always is very kind, courteous and quick with conversation. Not today. You see, I am a man and I am buying tampons. This normally stable and able cashier now was frazzled, anxious and muttering words that I could not easily comprehend. The result: a small “express” grocery order gone awry. Next thing I know, my five dollar tampon coupon would not get accepted by the “electric eye” of the scanner. Ouch. What happens next? You know, that grocery check out nightmare everyone thinks about, yet does not think it will happen to them.

“Coupon override on express” is announced worriedly by my cashier through the store speaker system. After waiting for at least five minutes, (five minutes!!!), a “head” cashier comes over to ask what is wrong. By now, a “line” has formed behind me, I am staring straight at a display of tic tacs and dreaming of better moments. The cashier states with a rather loud voice… “it won’t scan this tampon coupon.” Ouch. The “head” cashier inserted a “key” into the register, opened the register door, closed it, then punched in a “secret” code. These secret intelligence steps that the “head” cashier did made the situation better… my five dollar tampon coupon was now accepted! I never saw a cashier bag an order so fast in my life. I politely said thank you to all involved in helping me complete my mission, thus I calmly walked away with bags in hand.

Setting The Dinner Table With Feminine Napkins

I was most likely, around six years old when this story took place. A true story it is. My mother, (she is now in heaven), was busy as always, cleaning around the kitchen and making dinner for the family. I, being a six year old and wanting to help my mother in any way possible, asked her what I could possibly do for her at the moment. My mother said I could set the dinner table with napkins. Hey, what easier thing to do than set the dinner table with napkins? As a six year old, heck, that was right up my alley. So, I remember vividly, like it was last year… I went to the coat closet to obtain the napkins, from the very large box where they were stored. Unfortunately, these were not napkins for food. You see, as a six year old, I was reading to an extent and the word “napkins” was boldly scrolled across a very large box of feminine napkins that my mother always stored in this coat closet. Being just a toddler, I did not know the difference, a napkin was a napkin. I did set a large feminine napkin at each dinner placing… for all four in our family. Upon my mother discovering what I had done, all I can remember is she hugged me, she laughed, then she explained these were not the “correct” napkins. This was a story my mother and I shared in laughter for a lifetime.

In Summary

Two aspects of a woman that I most admire are: 1.) a woman can give birth, 2.) a woman can survive a dreadful period each month. A woman is strong, make no mistake about it. I have the most sincere respect for what a woman must go through when it comes to child labor and a monthly period. My sympathy and respect only grew by eons due to witnessing my wonderful wife give birth to our twin daughters. The only thing I can never comprehend or understand is… why on earth is a period referred to as “friend”? Knowing what I know now, that damn monthly visit to a woman should be referred to as “enemy”. Making light of the social experiences I have had in handling and purchasing the “tampon” is to try to make sense of it all. The “taboo” nature of a man speaking of or purchasing this female necessity has to eventually cease. It is not 1920 anymore.

MetalOdyssey

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