Archive for the real life experiences Category

QUEEN – “THE GAME” MADE 1980 A YEAR I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER

Posted in 1970's classic rock bands, 1970's hard rock bands, 1970's rock bands, 1980's classic rock bands, 1980's hard rock albums, 1980's rock albums, 1980's rock music, 1980's classic rock, 1980's classic rock albums, 1980's classic rock music, 1980's classic rock songs, 1980's hard rock bands, 1980's hard rock songs, 1980's rock bands, 1990's rock bands, 1990's hard rock bands, classic rock, classic rock albums, classic rock bands, classic rock music, classic rock songs, classic rock vocalists, family, feel good stories, hard rock bands, hard rock music, holidays, metal odyssey, Music, people, personal stories, real life experiences, Rock, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music, rock music history with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

QUEEN – I can remember like it was yesterday, it was 1980 and I wanted so badly, as a Christmas gift from my Mom and Dad, Queen’s The Game album. I can recite what and how many albums I received as gifts from my parents when I was young, due to the fact that I so deeply appreciated each one. While growing up, my family may not have been “rich” with money, instead we were pretty “rich” with love. As a young dude, I never expected more than one album as a gift from my parents, with each passing Christmas and birthday. Receiving an album a few times during the year, as a thank you for helping out around the house and yard, was reality as well. Therefore, that “one” album at Christmas held some weight… and each album gift was always one of my choices that I made known to anyone who would listen.

1980 came upon me as a breakout year in my life… for I finally broke out of eight years of parochial school. (A Catholic School). I was now an official high school student… enrolled as a freshman. My Rock and Roll taste buds were changing by the week it seemed… so many bands I was hearing on the FM dial, still, so little funds to buy them.

When Christmas of 1980 finally rolled around, I was anxious as to whether or not an album would be under the tree at all. If there was an album, which one would it be? I had jotted down just about every KISS album on that wish list back in 1980, save for Double Platinum and Dynasty, which I already owned. I remember putting Queen’s The Game down on my wish list, I needed a real Queen album and this one would be as good as any. All I did own of Queen at this time in my life was the 45 rpm of We Will Rock You/We Are The ChampionsCrazy Little Thing Called Love and Another One Bites The Dust were enormous hits for Queen on the FM dial in 1980. Each time I heard these two songs back then, it felt like Rock and Roll magic in my brain.

Once I heard these next two songs from this powerful Queen album, I was literally covered in ostrich bumps: Play The Game and Need Your Loving Tonight. The Hartford, Connecticut FM stations were very cool back in the late ’70’s on through the ’80’s, their spinning these deeper album cuts from The Game only made it more clear to me, that I absolutely needed this album! Listening to the song Play The Game made me feel like I was walking on air. It still does have that affect on me. Sure, Another One Bites The Dust has been overused commercially over the decades, I do understand. This entire Queen album still makes me feel more powerful than I really am… it’s as if it lifts me up and puts the troubles of the day below my feet.

I did see a wrapped album under the Christmas tree, that Christmas morning back in 1980 and it had my name on the tag. It was from Mom and Dad. Once the wrapping was taken off, (gently I might add, as not to damage a cool album), my eyes widened as big as Pennsylvania Dutch pancakes on a Saturday morning. Queen. The Game. In my hands, the entire album. Yes, I played it on my turntable every day during my freshman year in high school. Back in 1980, hearing the song Dragon Attack was a quick study in Hard Rock 101 for me.

This Queen album, single handedly inspired me as a high school freshman, in ways that I cannot even explain. The operatic and prolific vocals of the late and ultra legendary Freddie Mercury, the ever distinguishable guitar tone of Brian May and the rhythm being solidly accented by John Deacon on bass and Roger Taylor on drums. A Rock album for the ages was and still is – The Game.

LONG LIVE QUEEN. REST PEACEFULLY, FREDDIE MERCURY.

Stone.

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THE WHO – “GREATEST HITS” IS MY ANNIVERSARY GIFT!

Posted in 1960's classic rock music, 1960's classic rock bands, 1960's rock & roll british invasion, 1960's rock music, 1970's classic rock bands, 1970's classic rock music, 1970's hard rock, 1970's rock bands, 1970's rock music, 1980's classic rock bands, 1980's rock music, 1980's classic rock, 1980's classic rock music, 1980's hard rock bands, 1990's hard rock music, 1990's rock bands, 1990's rock music, 1990's hard rock bands, classic rock, classic rock albums, classic rock bands, classic rock music, classic rock songs, cool album covers, current rock bands, family, feel good stories, hard rock bands, hard rock music, life, life stories, living, metal odyssey, Music, real life experiences, Rock, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock and roll hall of fame inductees, rock music, rock music history with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

My wife and I will celebrate our 15 year Wedding Anniversary on February 11th. Wow, how time has flown by! Tonight, while strolling about at K-Mart, my wife informed me my anniversary gift from her is The Who – Greatest Hits. (Not too shabby, in my Metal opinion). Heck, I’m the guy, I never expect an anniversary gift to begin with… I always make sure my wife gets a gift for certain, still, this feels like a bonus to me!

What’s very exciting about getting this CD from my wife is the pure fact: I have never owned The Who on CD my entire life!! You read that correctly… never did I upgrade The Who to CD, after all these years. Go figure. Of course, I have owned some, (not all), of The Who titles on vinyl and cassette… still have them floating around somewhere. It’s an invigorating feeling to have this Greatest Hits by The Who now… 19 songs and all! What sweetens the deal about this CD is that it was on sale for $9.99! Yes, maybe I have given off hints now and again that I am frugal… it’s from growing up in New England for most of my life… in extremely expensive Connecticut. Believe me, if you live or ever lived in Connecticut, you know what I mean. Living there, man, you have to know how to cut corners and clip coupons… or go broke trying.

Back to The Who… my wife and I, along with my best Metal buddy Scott Coverdale, saw The Who back in the mid ’90’s… seeing them was a thrill beyond belief for me. Drivin N Cryin was the opening band too. I’m thankful I was able to witness John Entwistle live, on bass as well. This legendary show was at the Meadows Music Theater in Hartford, Connecticut.

The Who is a band that I can never, ever, grow tired of. Honestly, The Who just strikes that certain chord within my psyche… and I’m not concerned about figuring it out either. Seeing Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend Rockin’ out during the Super Bowl XLIV half-time special… was something special. I could only hope and pray, that I am in that kind of shape when I hit that age! Sure, Roger Daltrey may not sound like he did in 1980… yet c’mon… he belted it out for the world to know that The Who is still around and damn proud! Pete Townshend also reminded us all, that he too… can still kick some Rock and Roll ass.

My favorite song ever, from The Who, is: Eminence Front. I’m not going to attempt any explanation here, other than this is THE song. You know how it is… there’s always that one particular song from a band that resonates with your mind and soul… Eminence Front is just that song by The Who. I’m thankful for my beautiful wife of 15 years and counting… nothing beats the memories, life experiences and love we have both shared with each other. (We actually have been together since 1988, married in 1995). I’m also thankful I have the memory of seeing The Who, live, with my wife and best friend. Money can’t buy love and memories… but $9.99 can buy me the coolest wedding anniversary gift – The Who, Greatest Hits.

The Who – Greatest Hits was released on December 21, 2009.

LONG LIVE THE WHO!

Reflecting on the good memories of life and staying positive and true to yourself… is what it’s all about. Music is the stimulus of good life memories for me… the Rock Music of The Who is no exception.

WE’VE ADOPTED A CAT! HIS NAME IS TOBY.

Posted in 1980's hair metal albums, 1980's hair metal bands, 1980's heavy metal albums, 1980's hard rock bands, 1980's heavy metal music, 1980's heavy metal songs, 1980's rock bands, classic rock, classic rock music, cool album covers, everyday experiences, family, family pets, feel good stories, hair metal music, hard rock music, heavy metal album covers, heavy metal albums, heavy metal bands, heavy metal guitarists, heavy metal music, heavy metal vocalists, lists, metal odyssey, Music, old school hair metal bands, personal stories, real life experiences, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

On November 21, 2009, my family and I adopted a two year old cat named Toby. He is healthy as can be, we updated all of his required shots and he passed a physical too. Toby is a domestic house cat, a very curious and gentle animal. Yes, he does like to get cozy, especially at night when we are all trying to sleep. Just like the classic Slaughter song goes… Up All Night, Sleep All Day! Toby really enjoys our front reading room during the day, taking turns sleeping on each chair and love seat. There is not a window sill this cat does not like to perch on either. Toby gets box seats to watch the birds, squirrels, rabbits and chipmunks do their thing… in the outside world. Toby does not seem to mind that he cannot go outside though… too many times he hears dogs barking.

As a family, Toby has embraced us all and likewise. We look forward to many great years with him. Toby is only looking for some food, a box to poop in, water, a house to prowl around in and playtime with our daughters, (with some added attention from my wife and I). He really isn’t asking for too much. I posted recently that we were searching to adopt a cat, in this post a nifty list of cat/feline/tiger bands was created, from Rock to Metal. Well, since we finally have Toby, here is another list of such bands associated with this ever popular animal… the cat.

First however, may I introduce to you, Toby:

Here is a Hair Metal Band that I have always liked a lot – Faster Pussycat. Their debut album, released in 1987, is one to own. My favorite song from this initial Faster Pussycat release is Don’t Change That Song. Taime Downe has some unique vocals, plus this band knew how to make some hard rockin’ and good time songs.

Here is another Hair Metal Band that I never covered my ears to, I will listen to this band. I actually caught this band live back in the late ’80’s at a small club. White Lion. I can’t recall what other band or bands played with White Lion that night I saw them… that was a night when the good times made things rather fuzzyVito Bratta, (the original guitarist) for White Lion, is very, very, good at playing guitar, no doubt in my Metal mind.

O.k., so Survivor is NOT a Heavy Metal Band or even a bona fide Hard Rock Band. They are a Rock Band still. Their band name does not have a feline connection, their biggest selling single ever does, for that matter. Furthermore, they did psyche me out at age 16, with their huge hit single from 1982, Eye Of The Tiger. I am not bashful, about admitting the affect this song had on me, back in 1982. This was the theme song for the Rocky lll movie sequel as well. From what I have researched, this song alone, sold over two million copies in the U.S., count me as one of those two million who bought the 45 rpm back then. Uh, this one I wound up selling, giving away or (gulp), discarding. I really wish I kept this 45 rpm with the original sleeve intact.

Tigertailz – Hair Metal, Glam Metal… either or – you pick ’em. Their 1987 debut album Young And Crazy I still own… on (gulp), cassette. Metal be damned I’m going to keep it too… and listen to it whenever I feel like it. No, I’m NOT kidding either.

Well, that is all for now. My previous cat related bands/songs list was a little longer, I’m running out of ideas with this now. If anyone has a Rock/Hard Rock/Metal related example for this list, that comes to mind, feel free to comment it.

MISFITS “LAND OF THE DEAD” – MY RARE, RED VINYL COPY ARRIVED IN THE MAIL!!

Posted in 1970's punk rock, 1980's punk rock bands, 1980's punk rock music, 1990's punk rock bands, 1990's punk rock music, collecting rock music, cool album covers, creepy album covers, current punk rock music, current punk rock songs, essential punk rock songs, everyday experiences, extreme music, feel good stories, halloween rock music songs, hard to find punk rock albums, horror punk, horror punk album covers, horror punk albums, horror punk rock bands, horror punk rock music, horror punk songs, metal odyssey, Music, new punk rock music, old school punk rock, Punk rock, punk rock album covers, punk rock albums, punk rock bands, punk rock music, punk rock music 2009, punk rock musicians, punk rock songs, rare punk rock albums, rare punk rock records, real life experiences, rock and roll, rock music, scary album covers, spooky album covers, vintage punk rock bands with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

Yesterday, November 23, 2009, was a very good day in the life of this Misfits fan, uh, fiend. You see, as I innocently walked to my mailbox, (which is on the front roadside), I stared up towards the front door to my house… what is that I see? It was a very large bubble mailer, flat and the size of a record album… extremely beautiful looking from afar. My heart began to race as I felt a tad of perspiration come upon my forehead, my legs took me as fast as they would go to this mysterious package. Holding my crap/junk mail in my left hand, I bent down to pick up this glorious bubble mailer with my right hand. The return address read: Cinder Block/FFP… from Rancho Cordova, California… what a wonderful return address indeed. You see, I pre-ordered Misfits Land Of The Dead, (the first pressing and red vinyl version), back on October 15, of this year and it is now in my hands! Yeeaaahhhh baaabbbbbyyyyy!!

The excitement that rippled throughout my body and mind, at this moment of knowing Land Of The Dead was in this bubble mailer I was holding, was a moment I will not forget for a very long time. There are only 1,000 copies of the red vinyl version! Hello, can we all say… rare? Being a Misfits fan/fiend for so long, the sheer exhilaration of finally nailing down one of their rare vinyl singles – is a Horror Punk dream come true for me. With over a month passing by since my initial order, I began to worry, that maybe I was not going to be one of the lucky ones to get a red vinyl copy of Land Of The Dead. Worry no more! Cinder Block is the distribution/mail order company that the Misfits web site uses for selling all things… Misfits. A huge Horror Punk kudos to Cinder Block for landing me a copy and making good on my order! Plus, a bonus Horror Punk kudos to Cinder Block for the protective packaging they used for shipping… my copy of Land Of The Dead is mint/spotless!

The backside of this 12 inch vinyl single has the complete lyrics for both songs: Land Of The Dead and Twilight Of The Dead. A brief write-up regarding the connection between George A. Romero, (the legendary film director for the Living Dead movie series) and Jerry Only, is also on the backside of this 12 inch single. I purchased both of these Misfits songs on itunes as well, needing digital copies is a must. It just feels damned great to order what is known to be a rarity and actually get it! I spent a total of $15.94 on this Misfits gem, (including shipping), this is not shabby when you consider what this same red vinyl version is going for on ebay currently. My best Metal buddy Scott, well, he informed me this red vinyl version is selling in the $60.00 to $75.00 range! (I wasn’t tracking this info myself, due to my waiting nervously for my own copy to arrive in the mail). Let me say this, it was worth every cent to get this Misfits single on vinyl. I am a psyched out dude today and it feels great.

Misfits as they appear on Land Of The Dead:

Jerry Only – bass & vocals

Dez Cadena – rhythm & lead guitars

Robo AKA Julio Roberto Valverde Valencia – drums

The album artwork by Arthur Suydam gets my vote for 2009 Album Cover of the Year, spanning all the Rock Music genres. As a fellow artist, it is hard for me not to stare at this cover with art appreciation.

FOREIGNER – DEBUT ALBUM FROM 1977 STILL PULLS ME IN

Posted in 1970's classic rock albums, 1970's classic rock bands, 1970's classic rock songs, 1970's classic rock vocalists, 1970's hard rock bands, 1970's hard rock, 1970's Rock, 1970's rock music, 1980's classic rock bands, 1980's hard rock albums, 1980's rock music, 1980's hard rock, Album Review, classic hard rock music, classic rock, classic rock albums, classic rock bands, classic rock music, classic rock music 1977, classic rock songs, cool album covers, essential classic rock albums, essential classic rock songs, everyday social experiences, family, family pets, hard rock music, life, life stories, metal odyssey, Music, real life experiences, Rock, rock & roll, rock album review, rock and roll, rock music, rock music reviews, rock vocalists, vintage hard rock albums, vintage rock albums with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

Foreigner "Foreigner" small album picThe debut album by Foreigner, (self titled, released on March 8, 1977), was one of my first vinyl record albums that I ever owned. I actually bought the first Foreigner album shortly after receiving their Double Vision album as a birthday gift, back in 1979. (The Double Vision album was released on June 20, 1978). So it is safe to say, that the debut Foreigner album was playing on my turntable sometime in the Spring of 1979. Being an eighth grader in 1979, my exposure to Heavy Metal Music was at it’s most infant state, KISS was the only Heavy Metal Band I owned on album at this time. I always bring up my past history, as to the year of purchase of a said album and what bands I was into at the given time, so to make clarity to the evolvement of my becoming a Metalhead. It was a progression of listening to different Rock genres for me, since I was a kid. This Foreigner album is as integral a piece to that progression, as any other Rock album I ever listened to. Just as the Double Vision album, Foreigner’s debut album had me wanting more and that was a good symptom to have. There definitely was some psychological imbedding that happened to me with Foreigner at a young age, whenever I listen to their albums, (especially the first four), I feel like everything is alright.

What prompted me to blog about this Foreigner debut album is hearing the song Feels Like The First Time on the radio this past Sunday. My family and I just had to endure visiting a sad animal shelter that morning, (we are currently looking to adopt a cat), and all four of us were in quite the funk. I decided to bring my wife to a store that has 70% off of all their Christmas decor, what bargains were truly found – no kidding here. This stop to purchase Christmas decor was just the elixir of happy that my wife and daughters needed after a somber morning of seeing so many poor and sickly cats. My elixir of happy was hearing Foreigner on the store’s radio. As I have stated, Foreigner puts me on the – everything is alright trip. I actually felt my face give off a smile and get all flushed while I heard this Foreigner song. On the drive home from this store, I wished there was a Foreigner CD in the car… trust me, there has been many times.

This experience is just a fine example of how a band and their album can pull me right in… and take me back, while making my mood alright again. That is the magic of Rock and Roll, these are the benchmarks of an album and/or song that cannot be critiqued by lazy Rolling Stone Magazine writers who have not a clue. The personal memories and feelings that are stored within oneself, due to the impact from a Rock Band of any genre, their albums, an individual song or a concert experience from such band… money cannot buy, man. Listening to Foreigner’s debut again, reminds me as to why the Classic Rock genre exists. This album is a Rock Classic. Foreigner is in my Metal Odyssey Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Too bad that big, pompous building in Cleveland, Ohio, doesn’t get it.

I grin each time I stare at the front cover image of the band, on the Foreigner debut front cover. The first impression is – these are gentlemen. Hard Rock gentlemen, that is. The maturity that this front cover image evokes, also mirrors the maturity of the music heard from this Foreigner album. It wasn’t about boobs and beer, rebellion or political commentary, it was about quality Rock and Hard Rock songs. From the lyrics to each songs structure, Foreigner presented to the world a sophisticated, yet Hard edged sound, that could be radio friendly and street cool at the same time. Two of my favorite songs from Foreigner are not even considered to be hits at all. Headknocker and Starrider are two songs from this album that are individualistic and represent the two sides of Foreigner’s Rock style. Headknocker being the Hard Rock cranker and Starrider introducing Foreigner’s adoration for a more melodic, Rock ballad. I really like Starrider for it’s almost cosmic musical ambiance, the keyboards and chorus are what sets this song apart, for me. This is just me, yet it would be a kick to hear W.A.S.P. or Judas Priest cover Headknocker.

Long, Long Way From Home is without doubt, Lou Gramm singing at his very finest. Man, his vocals alone, makes this song resonate with powerful emotion. Cold As Ice will always be the hit staple from this Foreigner album… rightfully so. I would not argue that it is as important a Rock single as any from the 1970’s. Regardless of decades passing by, this Foreigner debut album is, yes, timeless. It may sound cliche, still those Rock and Hard Rock albums from days gone by, like this very album, need to be revisited and remembered for their Rock and Roll historical importance and sheer quality.

Foreigner "Foreigner" large album pic

A New Addition Is Coming To Our Family… A Cat

Posted in 1970's heavy metal music, 1980's heavy metal music, 1990's heavy metal music, animal adoptions, animal stories, cat adoptions, cat stories, classic rock, classic rock music, cool album covers, current heavy metal albums, essential heavy metal albums, essential rock albums, family, family pets, feel good stories, guitar legends, hard rock music, heavy metal albums, heavy metal bands, heavy metal music, hollywood stars, humor, life, life stories, living, metal odyssey, Music, people, personal stories, real life experiences, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music, tattoo artists, true personal stories with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

MetalOdysseyToday, my wife, myself and twin daughters all decided on adopting a homeless cat. He already comes with a name… Del. Del has only one eye, the other is shut closed. He is currently living in a shelter and is in great health. The shelter he is in now rescued him from a “kill” shelter. The poor guy has also been de-clawed, yet that is alright, Del will be our house cat. Yup, Del will be able to have full reign of the house,  (within reason of course). Being a four year old cat, he probably has some stories to tell… if he could only talk. We pick up Del on Sunday, November 15th. Del is a silver tiger, with white and gray stripes. (No, he is not a real tiger). I and my family cannot wait to get this dude, he will fit right in for sure.

Over my lifetime, I have owned five different cats, they were all unique. So, I do know what to expect from having a cat around the house… the only adjustment is to identify and know Del’s personality, his likes and dislikes. Sure, it will take a short time to have Del really blend in with our home and we are really looking forward to having him. We all went out this afternoon to purchase the necessities of making Del’s life with us comfortable. Del needed a break in his life… he is going to experience it on Sunday. Now, with a cat arriving into a household that loves Heavy Metal Music, I could not help myself from compiling a list of Heavy Metal and Hard Rock bands, songs and album titles that reference cat or any association to a cat. Yeah, it’s a list… but trust me, it’s a kick:

KITTIE – This all female Heavy Metal Band just happens to be… my favorite all female Heavy Metal Band. (Girlschool is my second favorite all female Heavy Metal band, in case you were wondering). Morgan Lander, (guitar & lead vocals) and her sister Mercedes Lander, (drums), can do no wrong by me. Kittie’s new studio album, In The Black, was released on September 15, 2009.

Kittie "In The Black" large album pic

The Motor City Madman, aka, Ted Nugent, (who belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by the way), has the coolest catalog of albums that are for me, timeless. Cat Scratch Fever from 1977, is definitely one of my favorites.

Ted Nugent "Cat Scratch Fever" large album pic

I like Aerosmith. Especially 1970’s Aerosmith. Still, at the end of the Metal day, I cannot turn away from any Aerosmith album that has been created. I can’t help it, that is just the way it is. Yeah, I will listen to Aerosmith ballads too and I am no fan of ballads. Aerosmith’s album from 1997, Nine Lives, makes this list. Hey, say what you want… but this album went double platinum.

Aerosmith "Nine Lives" large album pic

Alright, alright already… I know that the Stray Cats are not Heavy Metal or even close to being a Hard Rock Band. However, I have always been receptive to their Rock and Roll since day one. Back in the ’80’s, well, I had a very large poster of the Stray Cats on my bedroom wall… right between AC/DC and Judas Priest… honestly. Brian Setzer is just a brilliant guitarist, in my Metal opinion. The Stray Cats… Rock.

Stray Cats "Rant N' Rave" large album pic

What would this cat list be without – Look What The Cat Dragged In by Poison?

Poison "Look What The Cat Dragged In" small album pic #2

Nashville Pussy. Now, that is one heavy hitting, no holes barred band if there ever was one. Hey, they are referring to a cat with this bands name, aren’t they?

Nashville Pussy "Say Something Nasty" large album pic

Tygers of Pan Tang. O.k., so they spell tiger differently, who gives a crap. It actually looks better spelt that way. Now, this is a Heavy Metal blast from the past, plus these guys are still around. Animal Instinct was released on May 19, 2008. Tygers of Pan Tang have had their lineup changes over the decades… how many Heavy Metal Bands haven’t? I admire this bands perseverance and their pretty good at what they do too.

Tygers Of Pan Tang "Animal Instinct" large album pic

Kat Von D. I know, she is not a musician… still, she has created some damn great Heavy Metal tattoos, on a truck load of Heavy Metal players. Kat Von D knows her Heavy Metal too, she lives it. Plus… watching L.A. Ink is light years more better, fun and informative than watching Larry King Live. I am steadfast about that… it is the truth. As a bonus, Kat Von D is better to look at than Larry King any night.

Kat Von D - large photo #1

Well, that is about it for this cat list. I could go on and on here… what would be the point? Enough is enough I say. This list has been long enough, heck, it takes time to compile such a list. I certainly hope all who visited and put up with the list portion had a good time. I will update on Metal Odyssey just how our new family cat – Del, adjusts to his new life with us. I make that Metal promise.

The Tampon Files: Three Short Stories About… Tampons

Posted in common complaints, embarrassing situations, everyday experiences, everyday people, everyday social experiences, family, funny stories, grocery store experiences, humor, humorous experiences, life, life stories, living, people, personal stories, points to ponder, real life experiences, social encounters, true personal stories with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2009 by Metal Odyssey

The Tampon Pimp

I am a dude. I am a Metalhead dude that loves his wife deeply. I will do anything for her. When feminine protection supplies are needed, um, tampons, I gladly go by myself to the grocery store to buy such products for my wife. I am over that crap of being embarrassed about buying this stuff – just because I am a man, uh, dude, doesn’t mean I have to ignore this fact of life. Heck, I used to load those cigar shaped ones into a wall canister at a company I once worked for… being a maintenance man is sometimes all encompassing. I used to get hollered at like crazy by women of all ages that worked in this company… there never was enough of those damned cigar tampons in the women’s rest room canister. Trust me, a group of these women went out of their way to bellow out loud that these supplies were out, they tried to disgrace and humiliate me… only they were the disgrace, based on their behavior, fowl language and actions.

I couldn’t keep up with the demand. How was this happening? I couldn’t believe how many of those things were being used, based on the number of women that were working at this company. Could each woman working in this building be having their period at the exact time? Impossible to think. Eventually, I did figure it out. Since the cigar tampons were free, yes free, well, the daily stock wound up being taken home in large quantities. Basically, the vast majority of the cigar tampons were stolen each day. Needless to say, I was the tampon pimp.

The Five Dollar Tampon Coupon

One day, this very week, I ventured into my neighborhood grocery store to pick up some necessities. Oh yes, one of those necessities was a box of cigar shaped tampons. Only this particular grocery trip was special… I had “earned” a five dollar coupon towards a name brand tampon, an “elite” brand too. I “earned” this fabulous coupon by being a loyal customer of this fine grocery store, you betcha. So, upon knowing obtaining this product was on “the list”, I was very excited to redeem this coupon towards an over priced box of “elite” cigar shaped tampons. The “elite” brand is a whopping eight dollars plus change – for a box of thirty six! Getting this “elite” box of feminine product for around three dollars, was sweet victory to my inner soul.

I only had six items or so in my arms, therefore choosing the “express” checkout at the grocery store seemed like a power move to me. No other customer was in front of me… easy pickings at the “express” checkout lane. Or so I thought. The cashier at this “express” checkout I am very familiar with, she always is very kind, courteous and quick with conversation. Not today. You see, I am a man and I am buying tampons. This normally stable and able cashier now was frazzled, anxious and muttering words that I could not easily comprehend. The result: a small “express” grocery order gone awry. Next thing I know, my five dollar tampon coupon would not get accepted by the “electric eye” of the scanner. Ouch. What happens next? You know, that grocery check out nightmare everyone thinks about, yet does not think it will happen to them.

“Coupon override on express” is announced worriedly by my cashier through the store speaker system. After waiting for at least five minutes, (five minutes!!!), a “head” cashier comes over to ask what is wrong. By now, a “line” has formed behind me, I am staring straight at a display of tic tacs and dreaming of better moments. The cashier states with a rather loud voice… “it won’t scan this tampon coupon.” Ouch. The “head” cashier inserted a “key” into the register, opened the register door, closed it, then punched in a “secret” code. These secret intelligence steps that the “head” cashier did made the situation better… my five dollar tampon coupon was now accepted! I never saw a cashier bag an order so fast in my life. I politely said thank you to all involved in helping me complete my mission, thus I calmly walked away with bags in hand.

Setting The Dinner Table With Feminine Napkins

I was most likely, around six years old when this story took place. A true story it is. My mother, (she is now in heaven), was busy as always, cleaning around the kitchen and making dinner for the family. I, being a six year old and wanting to help my mother in any way possible, asked her what I could possibly do for her at the moment. My mother said I could set the dinner table with napkins. Hey, what easier thing to do than set the dinner table with napkins? As a six year old, heck, that was right up my alley. So, I remember vividly, like it was last year… I went to the coat closet to obtain the napkins, from the very large box where they were stored. Unfortunately, these were not napkins for food. You see, as a six year old, I was reading to an extent and the word “napkins” was boldly scrolled across a very large box of feminine napkins that my mother always stored in this coat closet. Being just a toddler, I did not know the difference, a napkin was a napkin. I did set a large feminine napkin at each dinner placing… for all four in our family. Upon my mother discovering what I had done, all I can remember is she hugged me, she laughed, then she explained these were not the “correct” napkins. This was a story my mother and I shared in laughter for a lifetime.

In Summary

Two aspects of a woman that I most admire are: 1.) a woman can give birth, 2.) a woman can survive a dreadful period each month. A woman is strong, make no mistake about it. I have the most sincere respect for what a woman must go through when it comes to child labor and a monthly period. My sympathy and respect only grew by eons due to witnessing my wonderful wife give birth to our twin daughters. The only thing I can never comprehend or understand is… why on earth is a period referred to as “friend”? Knowing what I know now, that damn monthly visit to a woman should be referred to as “enemy”. Making light of the social experiences I have had in handling and purchasing the “tampon” is to try to make sense of it all. The “taboo” nature of a man speaking of or purchasing this female necessity has to eventually cease. It is not 1920 anymore.

MetalOdyssey

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