I am going to embark on a topic that may be sensitive to some people… what really happens when a grocery store song gets you, well, psyched? I have decided tonight, to come out of the grocery store song closet. Yup. Please note, that department store chains also play songs over their central speaker system as well… I will refer to grocery store songs to simplify things. Be honest with yourself, there just had to be at least one moment in your life, where you were innocently shopping in a grocery store and then… that song was played. For me, I have had numerous experiences while grocery shopping and suddenly a song begins that just touches my Rock and Roll nerve. How do you act when this situation arises? Do you show emotion? Maybe you hide your psyched out – inner feelings and pretend that nothing is going on at all, you are in a public setting… a damn grocery store for Metal sakes. Let’s explore this incredibly taboo subject together now, shall we?
It is really senseless to ignore that this grocery store song phenomenon exists… it is o.k. to hear a song playing in a grocery store that psyches you out. My top three grocery store songs ever are: Lido Shuffle by Boz Skaggs, Sweet Talkin’ Woman by The Electric Light Orchestra and Call Me by Blondie. Seriously, I really strain to hold back my psyched out feelings when Lido Shuffle gets played at the grocery store – really. I can remember each moment when I heard these three songs in the grocery store… I felt so good I wanted to run up and down the aisles, high five strangers while shouting yeah! I have been fortunate enough to have heard Sweet Talkin’ Woman several times at the grocery store now, each time is a psyched out charm. Now, for the truth… when I do hear a grocery store song that gets me riveted, I stay cool and collected. My face may show signs of Rock Music satisfaction, a semi-grin if you will, however, staying cool is the best advice I can give anyone who hears a song they like in the grocery store. Just this evening, I was meandering about in an antiques mall, my wife and one half of my twin daughters were close by. Anyhow, inside this antiques mall, Old School Country Music was being played through the stores speaker system. No songs were psyching me out… no problem, until… Carly Simon came on with Your So Vain.
Uh, Carly Simon did get me semi-psyched out at the antiques mall tonight. Maybe it was due to my surroundings… all of this old stuff… antiques everywhere, the ambiance within the framework of this store is quite calm and somewhat like a rerun of The Walton’s. With all of this mellow and old fashioned stimulus around me, hearing Carly Simon sing Your So Vain in the midst of all the Old School Country Music just did it for me. Honestly, I now understand why Faster Pussycat did a cover of Your So Vain… this song most likely struck a chord with Taime Downe (lead singer of Faster Pussycat), like it did me tonight. Weird stuff. Remember, we as a society, are most likely 35 years away from hearing Megadeth and Obituary songs being played as grocery store songs. This is a shame. I have to take what is given to me here, then my Rock and Roll mind filters out the very best of what I do hear with these current grocery store songs that are being played… the psyche me out ones. Now, before you ever step foot into a grocery store again, please take some solid Metal advice in regards to getting psyched out by a song you may hear once there…
Please, if you like to hum along to your favorite grocery store song – stop! I find the annoying humming of a stranger in a grocery store, to be just as offensive as a stranger walking by me and dropping a fart. If you feel the need to sing along to a grocery store song that psyches you out – stop! The setting of a grocery store is not karaoke night at the Wonderland Pub. In the event you find yourself starting to dance and/or move in a groovy manner to a grocery store song – stop! I and potentially many other people, could possibly get anxious by your actions and report you to the store manager or security detail. Remember, the grocery store is not the dance floor of your cousin Jackie’s wedding. Then again, you may ignore my advice altogether and find me to be a tad too sensitive… however, when I hear my next psyched out city, grocery store song, I will remind myself that staying cool is the rule.
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