AGGRAVATION FILE: OPENING A SEALED CD JEWEL CASE


AGGRAVATION FILE: I most certainly am not alone, when I grumble and whine about opening a sealed CD jewel case. When I buy a new CD at whatever store, I’m usually psyched out of my Metal mind once I get to my car. Why am I psyched out of my Metal mind you query? For I want to hear the new CD that I just bought! It’s what I call: being self-psyched about having new tunes for my ears euphoria. However, that euphoria soon becomes… aggravation once I try to take off the CD plastic wrap.

As I sit in my car and begin the task of peeling off the plastic wrap, I realize my utility knife is needed, as always. That’s right. I need to use a damn utility knife just to get the plastic wrap off the CD! For some reason or another, some bright engineer somewhere, decided that shrink wrapping CD’s was cool and/or ingenious. Not for Stone. Once I get the shrink wrap off my new CD, it’s not over. Oh, no… not by a Metal long-shot. The evil sticker strip seal is still on the jewel case… and it needs to come off as well in order to access the CD.

I could easily just dislocate this jewel case at it’s hinges and basically tear it apart to get the CD out. That’s not cool though, I like to keep my CD collection in mint shape, so destroying a jewel case is an irrational and moronic action to take. The sticker strip seal is meant to prevent shoplifting of CD’s, it’s a necessary evil, I do understand. Still, does the manufacturing process really call for using super glue when adhering these sticker strip seals to jewel cases? Give me a Metal break.

As I am fighting, cursing and moving about strangely in my car, trying valiantly to remove the super glued, sticker strip seal from my new CD jewel case, people that walk by my car, in the parking lot, look over at me with either alarm or disgust on their faces. For real. What in Metal creation do these strangers think I am doing? Sometimes I have to actually abort my mission and wait for these nosey strangers to move on. I am just trying to open up my new CD… it’s not an act of felony for Metal sakes!

Once I do succeed at getting this sealed sticker strip off, there always remains… the sticker strip… residue. Ew. Sometimes there is more of this residue sticking to the jewel case than I could ever imagine. It’s sticky and it’s gross. No one knows, exactly how much Goo Gone I go through in a calendar year, due to sticker strip seal residue. Metal be damned. My most recent CD purchase was Avenged Sevenfold – Nightmare… and it was a nightmare trying to peel off that F’n sticker strip. It’s not funny, especially when it’s the new A7X CD that I so desperately need to ingest.

Many may think that this is silly crap that I’m aggravated over. It’s not that silly when you spend five minutes or more picking away at this sticker strip and beads of sweat begin to swell on my forehead. Now I know why I feel so stress-free when I make a purchase on itunes… no damned sealed sticker strip, to hold me hostage from the Metal I need to hear.

GO TO HELL SEALED STICKER STRIPS ON CD’S

Stone.

16 Responses to “AGGRAVATION FILE: OPENING A SEALED CD JEWEL CASE”

  1. This is halirious! I thought I was the only one ready to go postal opening these damn things!!

    That’s why I buy used!!

    • metalodyssey Says:

      Used is a very, very, cool route to go. Needless to say… I turn to the “almighty” Goo Gone for used CD jewel cases all the more. Too often, there are used CD’s I buy that have a half an inch of… “stranger toe jam” all over them.

      There are times I want to hurl, just holding a used CD jewel case, as I apply the blessed Goo Gone to years of “caked on stranger cheese”. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. Yeah, CDs can be extremely frustrating to open!

    • metalodyssey Says:

      I bet the chemical manufacturer that sells the “sticky & gooey” stuff for those sticker strips are making some serious $$$. Plus the plastic wrap & sticker manufacturer too. I gather that’s a good thing for those industries. (I’m trying to find the positive(s) out of this, I guess.

  3. I hate those stupid stickers they stick on the jewel cases. They are a pain in the ass to get off. Why not just wrap it in celophane and be done with it?

    • metalodyssey Says:

      The “obvious” and “right” way to manufacture and package items are not supposed to be the correct way. Whoa… I’m confusing myself now.

  4. The Great One Says:

    What’s up the freakin sticker!!

  5. I am with you, I hate that sticky stuff on the CD’s but what hate more than that is the digi pak cases or the paper CD cases, I am pretty sure that landfills across the world are not filled with jewel cases.

    • metalodyssey Says:

      Agreed. Those digipaks always seem to be creased, bent or the corners are dinged when you buy them new! It’s paper… and it isn’t meant to last without protection! Metalheads like us are just too damned Old School… and damned proud about it too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. ha ha funny!

    *maybe it’s a subliminal way to get us all to just buy MP3 downloads. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    small blades, sharps pens and or other assorted knives always come in handy. insert object on left-hand side (where the spine opens), make a small 1/2″ incision. Unwrap shrink wrap.

    Then, start to open jewel case (right hand side) as normal, *except if it has the stupid sticker and or “genuine” holographic sticker, then just hold the entire plastic enclosure with a firmer grip and then apply more force and that sticker will “pop”…then slowly and gently open the remainder of the case. It works, but it does need some rehearsing.

    Practice makes p e r f e c t . Come on’ it’s easy if you do it the SAME way every time folks.

    That concludes our “how to un-wrap a CD jewel case 101” class.

    Kinger!

    • metalodyssey Says:

      Alright… I’ll try it that way. However… if I really do succeed at your instructions on opening a wrapped CD jewel case/with sticker strip, do I get an “official” degree or some kind of certificate of achievement in “How To Un-Wrap A CD Jewel Case 101” from Demolish Fanzine?

      Could I use this degree as a “stepping stone” towards my “Masters In Metal”?

      I haven’t earned a degree in decades… I’m overdue. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  7. I agree. This morning I tried to open a CD jewel box, not a case – one of those old-fashioned CD boxes that they make for opera recordings and things like that. It split open, and I have tried to put it back together. I’m not sure that I’ve succeeded, but this is a NEW CD that I just received yesterday as a present!

  8. I re-blogged this, I hope you don’t mind, but I had to share this with the world.

    Let’s not even talk about a new DVD….oy!

    • metalodyssey Says:

      I don’t mind dude. The frustration just seems to continue on a weekly basis with these evil stickers that prohibit access to the “magic disc” of sound. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  9. I worked in records stores on and off from 91 to 2006. I always kept a fingernail handy to open Cds with ease.

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