Archive for personal stories

The rude, obnoxious and very ignorant wedding DJ

Posted in hard rock music, heavy metal music, life, metal odyssey, Music, personal stories, rock 'n' roll, rock and roll, rock music, rock music news with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

Wedding DJ’s. Some are cool and great at what they do… and some are very, very, lousy at their craft. I unfortunately encountered the most rude, obnoxious and ultra ignorant wedding DJ on Saturday, August 14th, 2010. It is important to actually name the exact date… for this moment I had with this “professional” wedding DJ, was that bad. August 14, 2010, shall stand as THE day I interracted with THE most thick headed person when it comes to Rock ‘N’ Roll.

Here is how the story all began… I had the pleasure to attend the wedding for my first cousin Mark, (who is really responsible in my becoming a lifetime member of the KISS Army). Mark married his true love, a beautiful and kind hearted gal named Roberta. I wish them all the infinite joy as they journey through life together as husband and wife… and as best friends too.

A wedding is an experience for all who attend, when family and friends come together to celebrate two people that are going to be partners for life. My cousin Mark, along with Roberta, are special people to me… they are family and friends combined. So, making the three and a half hour journey by car, with my wife and daughters by my side, to attend this wedding was of the upmost importance to me.

I, being the Rock ‘N’ Roll crazed dude I am, decided to dedicate a song to Mark and Roberta, for all of us to dance along to and enjoy. I grew up with my cousin Mark, we were very close through childhood and throughout college as well… and even though we may live in different states now, that cousin bond will never subside. Dedicating a song to my cousin Mark and new cousin Roberta met quite a bit to me. The “professional” wedding DJ thought otherwise.

You see, after I introduced myself to this wedding DJ, (as a first cousin to the groom), the tension began to build rather quickly. It seemed this wedding DJ was intimidated by me, just by his nervous mannerisms he displayed. Plus, he was sweating profusely and his face was red as a beet. How can a wedding DJ be sweating like a farm pig like this, when all he is doing is standing still and pushing computer keys to play wedding songs? Whoa. Whoa again. Anyways, I asked him if he would play… “Nothin’ But A Good Time” by Poison, this proved to be the most hilarious request ever given to this idiot DJ, as he so expressed to me.

To best explain what exactly happened, it went just like this:

Stone: So, can you play a request for me? I’d like to dedicate a song to Mark and Roberta.

Idiot/Red-Faced/Sweating/Wedding DJ: Sure, what is it?

Stone: Poison… Nothin’ But A Good Time.

Idiot/Red-Faced/Sweating/Wedding DJ: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, ha!!!!!

Stone’s Note: Now… this oval shaped, sweating like a pig, red-faced wedding DJ laughed straight into Stone’s face. Not cool.

Stone: What’s so funny?

Idiot/Red-Faced/Sweating/Wedding DJ: I have never, ever, in all my years of being a wedding DJ, had such a ridiculous song request!

Stone: Really.

Stone’s Note: I was stone faced with this sweaty, pig-faced DJ. I never budged. If anything, I felt pity for this small town wedding DJ. I wasn’t about to start a fiasco with this jerk, not at my cousin’s wedding.

Idiot/Red-Faced/Sweating/Wedding DJ: I guess I really do have this song after all… I can play it towards the end of the night, when I play the Rock stuff.

Stone: Thanks. I guess.

Hmm. Rock stuff. What the hell is Rock stuff? Britney Spears? The Village People? Lady Blah-Blah? N-Sync? That’s the only crap I was hearing for “music” for the first two hours I was at this wedding… what “Rock stuff” was this human pear, that sweats profusely, that pretends to be a “cool” wedding DJ, referring to?

Nonetheless, I took “for granted” that this moron DJ was going to play the song I wanted to dedicate to the bride and groom. Forget it. This dork wedding DJ never played it. What a jackass. What a pear shaped, sweating, red-faced, momma’s boy, small town, wedding DJ jackass. He stood there, laughed in my face in the most mockingly way possible, all due to my song request. Heck, I should have laughed straight back at his face… he was the one that stunk like a port-O-potty left in a farm field, after the county fair has ended. I’m not kidding… he stunk like the worst crap ever imaginable. Whoa.

I could understand being laughed at, if it was a song by The Wiggles, Jim Nabors or Barney that was requested.

This imbecile DJ did state, at the beginning of the wedding reception, that requests and/or dedications were accepted. Throw in the fact… that he DID play “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC at the end of the night only made it more mysterious to me. Why would “Nothin’ But A Good Time” be such a ridiculous song to request? What was so damn funny about it? Playing an AC/DC song at a wedding is no different than playing a Poison song. Give me a Metal break.

At the end of the day, I am glad I never went off on this jackass wedding DJ. Nope, instead, I get my frustration out by writing about this idiot. I wish I could post his name and business for all to see… only I’m too nice of a guy to NOT stoop so low. My only advice to all wedding DJ’s is this… when someone requests a song, don’t laugh in their face and mock them, especially when you admit to having the song on your play list. It’s not too much to ask.

Beware of sweaty, red-faced, ignorant wedding DJ’s.

Stone.

AGGRAVATION FILE: OPENING A SEALED CD JEWEL CASE

Posted in classic rock, classic rock music, hard rock music, Heavy Metal, heavy metal music, humor, metal odyssey, Music, personal stories, rock 'n' roll, rock and roll, rock music, rock music news with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 31, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

AGGRAVATION FILE: I most certainly am not alone, when I grumble and whine about opening a sealed CD jewel case. When I buy a new CD at whatever store, I’m usually psyched out of my Metal mind once I get to my car. Why am I psyched out of my Metal mind you query? For I want to hear the new CD that I just bought! It’s what I call: being self-psyched about having new tunes for my ears euphoria. However, that euphoria soon becomes… aggravation once I try to take off the CD plastic wrap.

As I sit in my car and begin the task of peeling off the plastic wrap, I realize my utility knife is needed, as always. That’s right. I need to use a damn utility knife just to get the plastic wrap off the CD! For some reason or another, some bright engineer somewhere, decided that shrink wrapping CD’s was cool and/or ingenious. Not for Stone. Once I get the shrink wrap off my new CD, it’s not over. Oh, no… not by a Metal long-shot. The evil sticker strip seal is still on the jewel case… and it needs to come off as well in order to access the CD.

I could easily just dislocate this jewel case at it’s hinges and basically tear it apart to get the CD out. That’s not cool though, I like to keep my CD collection in mint shape, so destroying a jewel case is an irrational and moronic action to take. The sticker strip seal is meant to prevent shoplifting of CD’s, it’s a necessary evil, I do understand. Still, does the manufacturing process really call for using super glue when adhering these sticker strip seals to jewel cases? Give me a Metal break.

As I am fighting, cursing and moving about strangely in my car, trying valiantly to remove the super glued, sticker strip seal from my new CD jewel case, people that walk by my car, in the parking lot, look over at me with either alarm or disgust on their faces. For real. What in Metal creation do these strangers think I am doing? Sometimes I have to actually abort my mission and wait for these nosey strangers to move on. I am just trying to open up my new CD… it’s not an act of felony for Metal sakes!

Once I do succeed at getting this sealed sticker strip off, there always remains… the sticker strip… residue. Ew. Sometimes there is more of this residue sticking to the jewel case than I could ever imagine. It’s sticky and it’s gross. No one knows, exactly how much Goo Gone I go through in a calendar year, due to sticker strip seal residue. Metal be damned. My most recent CD purchase was Avenged Sevenfold – Nightmare… and it was a nightmare trying to peel off that F’n sticker strip. It’s not funny, especially when it’s the new A7X CD that I so desperately need to ingest.

Many may think that this is silly crap that I’m aggravated over. It’s not that silly when you spend five minutes or more picking away at this sticker strip and beads of sweat begin to swell on my forehead. Now I know why I feel so stress-free when I make a purchase on itunes… no damned sealed sticker strip, to hold me hostage from the Metal I need to hear.

GO TO HELL SEALED STICKER STRIPS ON CD’S

Stone.

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