I am and have grown extremely tired of the title – “stay at home dad”. What is a stay at home dad anyway? A dad who just decides to stay at home for no reason? A dad who wants to sit around all day and… stay at home? Too many times, people I meet for the first time give me a peculiar look upon knowing my “official” title. I guess the stay at home dad thing came about because, well, a guy cannot be called a housewife. There does not seem to exist, the title – house husband. Upon moving to a new state, 4 years later, the neighbors surrounding our home still look at me peculiarly, wondering what is it that I exactly do. My neighbors know I take care of the yard, heck, they see that for themselves. I am a man in action around the yard, no one who observes me doing yard work can dispute that claim. However, hordes of neighbors wonder….. what does this guy do when he is not in the yard? What about Winter months? Why is he home? What is this guy doing inside of his house? Where is he going now? What are in the bags he is carrying?
I do not suffer from any phobia, I am only responding to the dumbfounded looks of dismay and bizarre comments I consistently get from my neighbors for 4 years running. One neighbor, well, he actually accused me of actually doing nothing at all. You read that correctly, here is how this elderly genius of a man put it to me: “Awe, y-y-you, why, you have time to fix that stone wall of yours, wh-wh-why you don’t do ‘nuthin all day long.” Yup, straight to my face this was said. I even had the same elderly man say to my face last Spring: “yeah, now your outside in the yard again, you stay in the house all Winter and do ‘nuthin, now you got sumthin’ to do.”
I also have another neighbor, an elderly woman, she is a living nightmare gone amuck. She took it upon herself to tell other neighbors that I was “hitting on” another mother at the bus stop, that something was going on between me and this other mom. Apparently, this elderly lady has the evil gift of making up whatever she wants, about whoever she wants, whenever she wants. Gee, thanks a ton neighbors! Another middle aged female neighbor, why, she finds it necessary to ask me: “did you find a job yet”? This woman asks me this same question each and every time she sees me. It is compelling, yet very disturbing, that people are out there ready to spread vicious rumors about someone else they do not even know. It is equally disturbing that there are people out there that will say straight to your face, that you do absolutely nothing with your life. These are the same people who have not a clue as to what my schedule, routine and duties entail. I am not about to hand out a written report to total strangers in regards to my daily life. Truth be told, I am not angry at these neighbors, I pity them.
Well, the people who actually know me, my incredible and beautiful wife and my gorgeous children know what I do every day. These are the people that are immediately affected by my duties, these are the people that cherish and respect what a stay at home dad really does. Maybe, just to pacify the lame minded who are out there who have disdain for the stay at home dad, maybe the title of stay at home dad should be changed to “stay at home and do ‘nuthin guy.” You know what, I could care in the least. I write this to get it out in the open, that there are nosey, mean spirited people out there that should mind their own business.
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