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Breaking News: Target Is Now Selling (Some) CD’s For Five Dollars!

Posted in classic rock, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, heavy metal news, metal odyssey, Music, retail, rock music, rock music news with tags , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2011 by Metal Odyssey

Yes, you did read the headline correctly. Target is just now realizing their overpriced CD’s are obviously not selling, therefore this retail giant has decided that $5 CD’s are the road to profitable glory. Oh, Target. While your $12.99, $13.99 and $14.99 price points for new and old CD releases were not making waves with cash strapped consumers, the $5.00, $7.00, $9.00 and $10.00 prices for CD’s at Super Walmart were. So, the brainiacs at Target decided to take a look at their #1 competitor and realized, hey, we can sell $5 CD’s too! Um, wrong. I’ll tell you all why…

Super Walmart has been selling hundreds of different CD titles at $5 per for the last few years now. The selection is always rotating as each week passes by too. Selection is key here for its selection that Target is lacking with both their $5 and overpriced CD’s. As I walked the meager CD aisles of Target the other night, I stumbled upon their $5 selection of CD’s and it was NOT impressive. I chuckled. I nearly pissed my pants. Maybe there were 12 titles to choose from. That’s it. The two $5 CD’s I saw at Target worth mentioning here were:

STYX – The Grand Illusion

WHITESNAKE – 20th Century Masters 

Granted, both the Styx and Whitesnake CD’s are worthy of purchasing for $5, I bought them both for this price at Super Walmart about three years ago! Both are ultra legendary bands. Oh Target. You’re like the dude that’s late for the keg party and misses out on all the action. Plus you’re that same dude who brings the stale, warm beer to the party while wearing a Culture Club t-shirt and expects everyone to dig him. Get real. Get with the times. Get a damn decent selection of $5 CD’s for Metal sakes.

Oh, Target. You see, at least 9 out of 10 of your “projected consumers of Rock CD’s” already own these two titles! Can you spell: marketing research? Duh. Duh again. To quote an old wise man: “crap or get off the pot”. Two words for Target when it comes to selling their scant selection of $5 CD’s: copy cats. Even then, Target can’t even copy Super Walmart correctly! Target continues to sell new and old CD releases for their ridiculous high prices, thinking that a dozen or so $5 CD’s is gonna make them competitive with Super Walmart. As Steven Tyler of Aerosmith has sung: Dream On.

Take into account that Target is recently embarking on a “new look” with the intent of having a (gulp) bigger, better and bolder grocery store within their existing stores, (complete with a produce department) and the “copy cat fever” has hit the melting point! Oh, Target. Y’all have what’s called Super Walmart-itis. Here’s a couple of suggestions for the brainiacs over at Target’s marble and ivory tower:

1. Change your store name. Change it already. Change it to either: Better Late Than Never or Copy Cats.


2. Keep your annoying red Target logo, only add a picture of a donkey’s ass in the center of its bulls-eye.

Heeeee Haaaaw, Heeeee Haaaaw.


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