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MACABRE – WARNING: What you are about to read may just have you buying this album and allowing it to serve you bloody Metal right. Metal be thy name I’ve warned you.

You see, it all started one day last week when I innocently went into my email inbox, to see if anyone cares to communicate with me. Oh, except there was someone out there who did give a damn that Stone needs Metal fed to him, just like a tomato plant needs it’s soil nutrients. Stored away inside this mysterious email, I was fed, from a very cool Metal Buddy, (actually a Metal operative whose identity cannot be revealed)… the brand spanking new… MACABRE album of mp3’s! The album title you query? It’s located up on the header of this post and on the album cover photo. Go look for yourself. Gee Metal whiz.

Now, if this wasn’t Christmas morning and Halloween night all rolled up into one tight little Metal ball for Stone! Upon the realization that I was going to listen to 14 new songs from MACABRE, I bellowed aloud for no one else to hear: “Yes Virginia, Stone is one psyched-out Metal camper today!”. Um, I really don’t know who Virginia is, the name just sounds clever when I shout it. Regardless, onto this new MACABRE album… what’s the title? Grim Scary Tales. Now, don’t forget it for I will be repeating it numerous times in this review. Um, yeah, that came out right, didn’t it? By the way… MACABRE is from Chicago… so if you ever wind up on Jeopardy! this bit of Metal trivia may win you some ca$h.

This is MACABRE’S first album since Murder Metal was released back in 2003. That’s about 8 years ago. Wow, I added that pretty well. (And to think, my old algebra teacher said I sucked at math as he threw the chalk-filled eraser at my Metal head back in ’84). That old algebra teacher was a good aim too, I have the indentations on my temple and forehead to prove it. Crap, I’m getting off-base here… onward to the MACABRE facts and Grim Scary Tales album review! I don’t want my boss (who is me) to get pissed off at my ranting.

You see, MACABRE recorded this new entree of hemoglobin oozing songs during their 25th Anniversary. Longevity = you are doing something right in the Metal world… and MACABRE needs to make no excuses to me for not releasing an album a year, like Bon Jovi does with greatest hits albums. This trio named MACABRE have been extremely grinding it out since 1985 and have undoubtedly earned themselves the tag of being called… bloody legends.

The Gore/Grindcore and Murder Metal that MACABRE serves up is getting better by the album, this extreme trio of Metal musicians have not disappointed me when it comes to: Extremity, Speed, Heaviness, Punkness, Rhyme Schemes, Folk Verses and Entertainment Value. The Black Knight encompasses all the essentials I just listed and the same can be said for all 14 songs. Rhyme schemes? Folk verses? Someone in the back just asked… well, yes, there is rhyming gorelore mixed with a tad of Folk vocal passages in the Extreme Metal of MACABRE. Or, is that galore? I like gorelore a ton of beer kegs better.

Taking a bloody stab at nursery rhymes and giddy sing-a-longs, while incorporating them into Grim Scary Tales is the entertainment value that you will be hard pressed to find among your conventional Metal band of today… or yesterday for that matter. Realistically speaking, or realistically writing that is, no other band can do this type of gig as potently well as this tormented trio can. MACABRE has me slapping my knees and reaching for some ancient Hee Haw VHS tapes while they bang out The Bloody Benders, enticing me into joining in to their spooky sing-a-long. Then, without being warned, Burke and Hare comes at my eardrums with it’s Metal velocity aplenty and grinding gore grooves, all in which makes my Hee get scared out of my freakin’ Haw.

Countess Bathory does not flinch with it’s extreme rhythm, maniacal vocals and bouncing beats that pummel my brain into Metal glee. Or is that Metal submission? Either way, it feels damn gooooood. In all Metal seriousness here folks, that is what the entire gore-grinding, Thrashin’ and Death Metalin’ contents of Grim Scary Tales does to me, it picks me up and throws me against the wall while kicking me straight in the ass. I get up, shake it off, then proceed to listen to Grim Scary Tales once again. Why? MACABRE is one bloody good band of distempered Metal musicians, so bloody good that they are always welcomed inside my fried eardrums and unhinged senses.

If your looking to buy that new album of heavy shit that’s gonna make you grin while fulfilling your extreme Metal side, as it’s pissing off your neighbors and mother-in-law when such album is being played at maximum level… then MACABRE and their Grim Scary Tales is the bloody gore meal-ticket for you. I know it’s mine.

* Grim Scary Tales will be released on MACABRE’S very own Decomposed Records. Grim Scary Tales is directly licensed for North American release on February 8, 2011, via Willowtip Records. A January 31, 2011 release date for Europe is set on Hammerheart Records.

* Grim Scary Tales was recorded and mixed at the Ensomberoom by Geoff Montgomery (The Chasm, Coffinworm, Shub Niggurath, Couldron).

* Scott Jackson of Monsterman Graphics and Rock N Roll Comics notoriety, is responsible for the unreal terrific original album artwork and layout.

* For more info on MACABRE, click on the links below:

MACABRE – REVERBNATION

MACABRE – myspace music

MACABRE – MURDER METAL

MACABRE:

Corporate Death – lead vocals & guitar

Dennis The Menace – drums

Nefarious – bass & vocals

Track Listing For Grim Scary Tales:

Locusta

Nero’s Inferno

The Black Knight

Dracula

The Big Bad Wolf

Countess Bathory

Burke and Hare

Mary Ann

The Bloody Benders

Lizzie Borden

The Ripper Tramp From France

Bella The Butcher

The Kiss of Death

The Sweet Tender Meat Vendor

LONG LIVE MACABRE.

LONG LIVE EXTREME METAL.

LONG LIVE ANY METAL.

Stone.