Archive for the current news Category

Turkey Fart Public Awareness Announcement From Metal Odyssey

Posted in current events, current news, family, feel good stories, food, holidays, humor, rock music, travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 23, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

CAUTION: Turkey Farts are an extreme public safety concern, when inhaled in a confined living room, with no air circulation, amongst a large gathering of relatives, friends and/or total strangers that ate like famished farm goats on Thanksgiving Day. Do not light a match or lighter in this extreme situation either, Turkey Farts are incredibly flammable. Any door marked “bathroom” within a Thanksgiving feast setting should also be avoided… unless you are equipped with a certified industrial gas mask.

* LOWER DWELLING EVACUATION PROCEDURES:

*NEVER move to a higher level of the house/apartment to escape a Turkey Fart… as with all nasty farts, they are fueled by excessive heat which only makes them rise farther into the air. Survivors of Turkey Fart inhalation will tell you, move to lower ground and make certain you bring enough beer with you. Beer Farts are not known to be as toxic as a Turkey Fart, therefore, the Beer Fart is the lesser of two evils.

* NOTE: You can escape a Turkey Fart by going outside; only the NFL games, assorted pastry, party platters, cheese, crackers and refreshments are all readily available… inside your own/hosts dwelling. Also, it is not far fetched to walk/run into an invading “Turkey Fart Thunder Cloud” from another neighborhood dwelling that is engulfing an entire street or city block… that is a whole other Turkey Fart nightmare for another day. Instead, be wise and refer back to  “lower dwelling evacuation procedures.”

* WARNING SIGNS OF POTENTIAL TURKEY FART OUTBURSTS:

In the extreme event you begin to hear a relative/friend/stranger utter: “gobble, gobble”, they are experiencing what is known as Turkey Fart hallucination. Get as far away from this person as you can! This is a tell tale sign that this Turkey glutton has eaten more turkey than their body can handle, resulting in toxic Turkey Fart emissions.

* Stay clear from any relative or immediate family member who exclaims upon finishing their Thanksgiving meal: “gosh, all I want to do right about now is lie down.” This person is a carrier of  Turkey Fart fever! Within 2 to 4 minutes, this dangerous individual will be letting loose Turkey Farts so potent and bizarre, you will wish you were standing in the middle of the Arctic Circle… with some cold beer and Black Metal blasting, of course.

Keep it safe this Thanksgiving and beware of Turkey Farts.

If you or someone you know, is a Turkey Fart inhalation survivor, please feel free to comment about it. Letting your story be heard, is the first step towards defeating your Turkey Fart anxiety.

Stone.

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INCREDIBLE NEWS ALERT: HEAVY METAL SONG RECEIVED FROM 100 LIGHT YEARS AWAY!

Posted in astronomy, celestial studies, current news, hard rock music, heavy metal music, heavy metal news, life, living, metal odyssey, Music, paranormal research, people, physics research, rock & roll, rock and roll, rock music, space and science with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

INCREDIBLE NEWS ALERT: This press release was taken from the World Wide Incredible Scientific News of Importance News Bureau – (WWISNINB) – Dr. Matthias W. Zinkweller III of the United Laboratories of Intergalactic and Alien Studies for Independence and Thought has discovered, on March 31, 2010, a song that was received through their highly sensitive audio satellites. Only this song travelled from 100 light years away! States Dr. Zinkweller III: “This is definitely a song, there is melody, it is very heavy in overall sound and bears every likeness to that of the music we know as Heavy Metal here on Earth”. During this non-televised and near secretive press conference, Dr. Zinkweller III became emotional, needing assistance from fellow physics scholar and astronomer Dr. Antonio T. Assterginas. Dr. Assterginas added: We all know of the magnitude of world importance this discovery means to us all, we all must approach this discovery, with open arms and an open mind as well”.

Once Dr. Zinkweller III was able to restrain his emotions, he touched upon the vocalization of this Heavy Metal song from deep space: “We have brought in over 50 linguistic experts from around the world, trying in vain, around the clock, to decipher what language this may be. After nearly 16 hours of deliberation and experimentation, the pre-hypothesis is that this language is completely unknown to human kind. Our computer models and programs cannot even recognize a syllable from the vocals, heard on this amazing song. The only certainty, however, is that this is a Heavy Metal song that exhibits the Hair Metal genre”.

When asked by the press as to what further steps were necessary, in pinpointing just exactly where this Heavy Metal song from 100 light years was sent from, Dr. Assterginas interjected: We have not even come close to deciding exactly where and from what this Heavy Metal song originated from. All we can validate, through our computer models and data, is that this song travelled from an unknown destination to us, approximately 100 light years away”. One press representative asked if the vocals could be compared to any Earthly known singer from the Hair Metal genre, Dr. Assterginas replied: “We are not as well versed in the names of Hair Metal vocalists and/or musicians as we would like to be”. Names of Steven Tyler to Dee Snider were thrown at these two brave scientists from the press, still these two courageous scientists conceded their lack of knowledge with the names of known Earth bound singers of Heavy Metal.

Holy Metal on Earth is this an unreal news story or what?! I have always been a believer in UFO’s, Bigfoot, Mothman, The New Jersey Devil and yes… ghosts. However, this takes the Metal cake here! Somewhere out there… 100 light years away, are Heavy Metal aliens!!! How cool is this? I just knew we could not have been the only Metalhead planet floating around out there! I will do my very best to follow up on this unreal and mind blowing story of the century! I’m a tad numb right now… this is beyond fantastic news!

Talk about Heavy Metal history.

Stone.

Oh, by the way… APRIL FOOLS!

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BLIZZARD OF 2010 – PART TWO!

Posted in current news, greenhouse climate, greenhouse effect, heavy metal music, humor, metal odyssey, people, politicians, politics, weather, weather news with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by Metal Odyssey

What gives with all the snow falling down in the Mid-Atlantic States this year? The New England States too. Hey, Al Gore… where are your speeches on global warming lately? Uh… Al, Pennsylvania is awaiting it’s SECOND BLIZZARD of February 2010! That is TWO BLIZZARD’S in one month… see what happens once the temperature begins to rise! Greenhouse effect? Um, try freezer effect. Or, try something better than that… it’s the good ol’ North Atlantic Oscillation, (NAO), and/or the same damned historical pattern of weather that has been happening in the Mid-Atlantic and New England States for centuries. Oh, Al, we poor people, you know, (the people who can’t afford those green cars that only politicians, spoiled major league athletes and celebrities can afford), well, we know a blizzard when one hits us. Gee whiz, I really could use a lecture on greenhouse gases and how hot the climate is right about now. I could use a hearty laugh.

Hey Al, what do BLIZZARDS and HEAVY METAL have in common? Neither one YOU can prevent or ban! Try censoring a BLIZZARD… nice try. Put a parental advisory sticker on a BLIZZARD? Nope. I’ll handle this second BLIZZARD by turning up my heat and running up my electric bill… then kick back and listen to Metal Music… LOUD. I’ll then shovel my family and I out once this BLIZZARD passes by… should I wear a thong when I do shovel the snow? It is supposed to be so hot outside with all of this climate change happening, isn’t it?

This great album cover from Savatage sums it up best, when describing the Winter weather that has taken it’s toll on the Mid-Atlantic States in 2010.

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