Here at Metal Odyssey, not every Hard Rock or Heavy Metal song ever created is going to be praised. There are those songs that give me an instant headache. Then, there are those songs that make me want to barf. Of course, there are songs that make me wonder… why? Here is a list of 10 songs that I honestly cannot listen to ever again. It’s all personal preference here and just because I may dislike the song listed does not mean I don’t like the band that recorded it.
There are bands and musicians on this list that are beyond legendary. Enjoy or become annoyed with this list, regardless, these songs are NOT going to ever “psyche out the party”. God forbid if these songs were to psyche out a party… then that party must be at the Lame-O Ranch At Rolling Hills.
01 – White Lion – When The Children Cry: Yeah, yeah, yeah… it’s a serious song about a sad and serious topic and I truly respect that aspect of this song. It’s just so damn sad that for years it made me want to scream every time I heard it. Now, one micro second of this song’s beginning is enough for me.
02 – Twisted Sister – Leader Of The Pack: Of course Twisted Sister is a legendary band. The only problem is this cover song they did way back in 1985 is not a crowning moment for this icon band. The silver lining about this cover song is it made me appreciate the albums Under The Blade and You Can’t Stop Rock ‘n’ Roll all the more.
03 – Ozzy Osbourne & Lita Ford – Close My Eyes Forever: Just like When The Children Cry, I realize this is a serious song with a deep and somber meaning. However, this would be a much more tolerable song if the duet performing it was Celine Dion and Josh Groban… and then I still wouldn’t listen to it.
04 – Metallica – One: Back in 1989 I was the biggest Metallica fan on the Metal block. Upon my very first listen to One… I was clutching onto my Slayer, Overkill, Anthrax and Exodus albums and running for cover. My Mercyful Fate albums too. Oh, for the record, I was 0% impressed by the music video for One as well. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always be a Metallica fan. Just realize there is no law that requires me to love everything that Metallica ever did.
05 – Honeymoon Suite – New Girl Now: Um, again… not every Hard Rock or Heavy Metal song is gonna get Stone psyched out. Two words of note here – bubble gum.
06 – Ozzy Osbourne – So Tired: Look, I revere Ozzy, he’s the Godfather of Heavy Metal for Metal sakes. Regardless, I grew tired of So Tired the very day I bought Bark At The Moon back in 1983. If I whined just like Ozzy does on this song… my wife would slug me in the head and boot me in the butt.
07 – Ace Frehley/Frehley’s Comet – Dolls: C’mon. The lyrics are just plain weird. Space Ace is another musician I have revered since the late ’70’s and I’m a KISS fan for life. I love every song Ace Frehley has ever played guitar and/or sung on. The exception is this song.
08 – Metallica – Turn The Page: This is one instance where nothing beats the original. Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band never created this Classic Rock masterpiece for Metallica to improve on it. Sure, it’s a multi-million dollar seller for Metallica… and multi-millions of turtleneck wearing Bananarama fans bought it too.
09 – Styx – Mr. Roboto – I can vividly remember, like it was yesterday. Either WHCN or WCCC FM, (which FM station is not vivid), out of Hartford, Connecticut was announcing the “new” Styx single… Mr. Roboto. I was ecstatic. Bring on the “new” Styx is all I was saying. Then… this song played. Ouch. At the end of Mr. Roboto, the DJ asked listeners to call in and give their opinion on the song. Back then, (1983), my family and everyone else I knew had the clunky… rotary phones. The phones in which you had to “dial” by finger, one number at a time. Anyways… I was in a state of despair… too upset to call any damn DJ at that moment anyhow. All I do remember is clutching onto The Grand Illusion album, slowly rocking back and forth as I sat there on the floor, half crying, muttering this one lone word over and over… why?, why?, WHY?!
10 – Queen – Radio Ga Ga – I also remember too vividly this song being released as well. Queen is so enormously legendary, it’s just a shame there is a Queen song out there that I cannot listen to. Radio Ga Ga is that song. Look, I already took a beating in 1983 with Mr. Roboto… now only a year later, it’s another revered band of mine taking a stylistic music detour as well. I don’t care if this song’s meaning is about radio playing lousy songs and programming back in the day. This song was not the Queen I fell head over heals with as a young lad. To this day, I cannot figure out what the “Ga Ga” was suppose to mean. Maybe Lady Ga Ga figured it out.
Stone.
I can remember the moment like it was yesterday. The moment in time of buying my first Michael Schenker Group album, at Caldor department store, back in 1982. It was the second studio album from Michael Schenker Group, it is often referred to as MSG ll, yet no where on my original album that I bought does it have the marking of “ll” on it. I guess the mystery of “ll” shall stay in my Metal mystery files for now. You can see, as proof, on the image below this post, that the front cover does not have “ll” on it. This image depicts the original album cover, the copy that I still own to this day. I have kept this Michael Schenker Group album in pristine condition for 28 years, this is an album that I extremely admire and highly recommend. The eight songs on this album are best described as Hard Rock, I find it difficult to label this album as straight forward Heavy Metal. There is one exception, Attack of the Mad Axeman is the one song from this album that I would label as an early 1980’s Heavy Metal song, in my Metal opinion.
I listened to Joe Satriani “Surfing With The Alien” all day today… in the car, in the house and back in the car once again. (Released in 1987, I own both the vinyl LP and CD). I have those days, where I choose that one CD and listen to it the entire day. Joe Satriani is without question, one of my favorite guitarists that ever lived. Pinning down who my favorite guitarist is of all time is too impossible of a task – there are just way too many guitarists across the entire Rock and Heavy Music spectrum that I revere. It’s not that I do not want to get controversial about naming an all time favorite guitarist, I named what I feel is the greatest Metal album of all time, in a previous post – (Black Sabbath, “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”). There are just so many unique styles of playing out there, in the world of guitarists, I tend to draw from a cornucopia of these styles and enjoy what I hear from a vast array of players. Joe Satriani really nails it down, with pin point accuracy, on this album. Combining speed and clarity, while slowing things down at all the right moments, makes for a harmonious and melodic guitar instrumental experience, is the best quick summary for Joe Satriani on “Surfing With The Alien”. The daunting question of: Is Joe Satriani a Rock, Hard Rock or Heavy Metal guitarist? – can only be answered by stating Joe Satriani can play it all and play it with greatness. The catalog of albums that Joe Satriani has created over the years proves just that, the proof is in his music.
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